Beauty girls pics

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Freckled Girls

2013.01.01 22:13 Freckled Girls

A SFW subreddit for pics of ladies with freckles.
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2011.10.27 01:44 VAGINA_DISCHARGE News Babes - Sexy Local & National Newswomen

Who doesn't love their news anchors and reporters? Especially when they're total babes. Share pics and gifs of your favorite local and national babes! This is a PG-13 sub, please keep your comments that way. Please note: This is a private sub, just send a "message the moderator" note asking for access and we will invite you in. This is to help keep our content from proliferating (or overpowering) into the Google/Bing search results.
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2016.03.13 13:17 Majdik beautiful women wearing sexy dresess

This subreddit is for pics/gifs/videos of beautiful women wearing sexy dresess.
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2020.10.22 22:19 shovel_nine The 'Get Rich Quick' MLM Schemes Targeting Gen Z During Lockdown

Yet another scathing article telling the truth about Arbonne. Please read information from ALL sources about any business opportunity you consider.. whether it's glowing information from the friend recruiting you, or critical information in a news article, you owe it to yourself and your business to have ALL the facts before you invest your time and money.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/ep4y7n/multi-level-marketing-schemes-target-gen-z
Young people out of work from COVID-19 are falling victim to controversial multi-level marketing schemes.
Charlotte Dickerson sits down in front of the camera with a cup of tea, and begins to tell the story of how she lost £800 in four months by becoming a girlboss. Her first YouTube video – featuring a thumbnail of her looking confused with the caption “I was scammed” - explains how she fell deep into multi-level marketing, before realising she was losing huge sums of money.
“The whole experience has changed my life,” says Charlotte, 23, who signed up to one of these schemes in 2018. Since leaving the MLM beauty company Arbonne, she has begun using her channel to debunk the kind of “get-rich-quick on your own terms” lifestyle that she says has proliferated during lockdown. “It’s the perfect time for it to thrive, because people are feeling vulnerable.”
Multi-level marketing schemes, or MLMs, are businesses that rely on the recruitment of others to make a profit for those higher up the chain. Their initial boom was in the 1940s, when vitamin companies such as Nutralite in the US began incentivising selling via “distribution teams”. This allowed employees to earn commission by hiring sellers to work below them, and taking a cut of their profits.
Their popularity increased steadily until the early 2000s, and then it exploded, with the internet allowing companies (often with vague corporate names such as Amway, Forever Living or Oriflame) to reach a much larger audience. Their controversial structure means they’ve been compared to illegal pyramid schemes but sellers are keen to stress the small differences that make these legitimate and legal. They sell a product, such as cosmetics or diet supplements, where pyramid schemes often don’t, and representatives make money directly from their sales.
The “hi hun, I’ve got an amazing business opportunity for you” message you’ve probably got from someone from your primary school? That’s normally how recruitment begins. It ends with you having to buy an expensive “starter kit” or products to sell on to family and friends via social media. Suddenly, you’ve a back room full of alkaline water filters, “business opportunity carrier bags” or fake Gentleman’s Pride aloe vera aftershave. Schemes such as US-based Arbonne, which Dickerson was a part of, also promote diet plans, with sellers often feeling pressured to take part themselves in order to convince others to “invest in the lifestyle”.
However, these products are largely irrelevant to the business model itself – the money is in the “downline” structure, which means earning commission for each person recruited into your team.
Information about those at the top of MLMs is hard to find, but the owner of FM World, a popular cosmetics scheme, also moonlights as a successful art collector. Artur Trawinski established FM World in Poland in 2004, which claims to be one of the largest MLMs in the world. His association with the company goes unmentioned, however, in the promotion for the European ArtEast Foundation, an organisation that aims to “bring the public closer to a different perspective on art from across Eastern Europe”. In 2018, he was named as one of Apollo magazine’s “40 under 40” art collectors.
A huge part of the appeal seems to be the community. Dickerson initially trusted her MLM scheme for this reason – she had just moved to London to start college, when she noticed a message from a family friend. Her Instagram was a glossy, perfect grid of poolside pics and pastel-pink slogans.
“I was lonely and I felt really vulnerable,” she says candidly. “Someone I knew was reaching out, with an incredible lifestyle, saying I could have it all too. There was no obvious reason not to. There are so many people feeling like this at the moment, and MLMs are monopolising on it.”
Forty-five percent of UK workers under 25 have been furloughed since the start of the pandemic, with an estimated one million under-25s facing unemployment this year. The idea of running a profitable business during a global crisis is, understandably, incredibly appealing.
Sade Taiwo, who runs the financial education site The Penny Pal, says she doesn’t blame people for finding the schemes attractive. “They present themselves as a quick way to make money and that is what people need right now.”
However, according to The Penny Pal, only a staggering 1 percent of those in MLM schemes make a profit. High enrolment costs, and the need to buy products before selling them, means people are often left with large amounts of un-shiftable stock.
Taiwo says she believes there should be greater education about the risks involved, but isn’t sure who this would fall to. “The schemes themselves certainly aren’t going to tell the truth. So who should it be up to? Schools Parents? Banks?”
Though Charlotte Dickerson only started her YouTube channel “to show people that she’d changed”, she’s now a leading voice in the “anti-MLM” movement. “I didn’t want to be known as the girl in the pyramid scheme. The videos were a way to tell my friends and family all at once.
“A lot of people I know who have left the scheme feel the same sense of guilt – we bombarded everyone with messages, and there’s no way you can tell an acquaintance that you’re no longer selling without it being weird. The majority don’t talk, because they’re embarrassed.”
Those who do talk, however, are creating “anti-MLM” content en masse. A popular post in the Reddit group antiMLM shows the outgoings of a seller stretching down an Excel sheet and adding up to thousands more than the profit column. YouTubers display screenshots of the MLM “huns” who claim their essential oils work “better than hand sanitiser” at killing viruses. One post even asked for volunteers with coronavirus to consume silver supplements, citing it as a potential cure.
Even for some of those who previously left the schemes, the current health crisis has made them re-evaluate their financial choices. Dickerson says she’s seen a lot of people trying MLMs for a second time as a result of being furloughed or losing their job, convinced that it was their own fault for not making a profit the first time.
Tiffany Ferguson, a California-based YouTuber who focuses on internet culture, has seen something similar. “Initially, a lot of them were devastated that they couldn’t go to their business conventions because of lockdown.’’ (In non-pandemic times, various MLMs run meetings for their sellers, often promising business secrets “unavailable anywhere else”). Ferguson saw that morph into a new confidence about their business plans, with the pandemic affirming that working from home in a MLM scheme was a wise decision.
Ferguson thinks it’s important to be critical of the anti-MLM groups, as well as the seller communities they aim to combat. “The important thing to remember is that people who join MLMs aren’t stupid.” she says. “Some of the people on these forums think they are, and that becomes a bit toxic.”
The important thing to remember is: always undertake proper research about any financial investment. Sade Taiwo advises that anyone considering a scheme should scrutinise every claim made, and search for people’s experiences with the company online before committing any money. She suggests if you or someone you know is already part of a scheme, set a definite deadline to assess the progress made – and don’t be afraid to cut your losses.
Ferguson, however, is reluctant to offer advice for people considering MLMs. “It’s not up to people with regular paycheques to criticise anyone’s financial decisions.” However, she adds with a laugh: “Times are crazy and tough, but some things are too good to be true.”
submitted by shovel_nine to Arbonne [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 19:18 TastySpermDispenser Just One of the Girls

Every once in a while, I come across a profile on Seeking where I am like: "Eh. She is not conventionally beautiful, but I think she is cute, and rocking her own style. I like that. Prolly does not get a lot of messages, and I'm a good time. Let me shoot her a message." Then I check back later, and I can see she viewed my profile and private pics, and... rejected me.
The absolute AUDACITY. I can't help but forget that I look like McLovin from Superbad, except I have a much stronger aura of virginity. I sit there in an absolute puddle of outrage. How... How could she do this to me? I'm a catch! Does she not know how handsome my mom says I am??? I think I finally understand what hot girls would feel if I ever rejected one of them. (I never would, but you know, hypothetically). I have exquisite taste in cocktails! And Amazing pick up lines! But all girls care about is a guy who has hit puberty and has a Justin Bieber haircut. I... I just hate how my tears water down my merlot. FML.
submitted by TastySpermDispenser to sugarlifestyleforum [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 07:20 Langston1113 Double-header recruiting (pt 1): Autumn

Double-header recruiting (pt 1): Autumn
On 10/21/20, I had two girls back-to-back as part of my effort to recruit and groom a new ultra-GFE for the roster. Here's the first one. It's long. Not sorry.
This is part of a return to my rookie season form: using Escortbabylon.com (EB), contacting small-time secretaries or booking agents for Latina escorts, and grooming them into ultra-GFE regulars. This was, therefore, a recruiting effort. Jessica still sits at the top of my roster. I’m experimenting to get someone else like her.
After the pleasant run-in with Maria-Louisa, I was in my truck in the parking lot outside her door contacting other secretaries and ads on EB. I didn’t get halfway down the first page before landing 3 or 4 responsive escorts, which I instinctively assumed were booking agents. But there was one that caught my eye as having great potential.
It was for 2 reasons. She guaranteed her pics were real or you could leave. There were some short but promising user comments on her ad.

https://preview.redd.it/f1mr9kg5dku51.png?width=672&format=png&auto=webp&s=be9bf05adac89fee57871a00a7aacb0b5084b9e3
COULDN’T STOP SHOUTING OBSCENITIES
“Got daaayum!” “Holy fucking shit you’re hot!” “What a fucking incredible body!” “Fuck!!!”
I was saying that throughout the entire session. Looking at the pics below, wouldn’t you be shouting obscenities too? Her ad pics were absolutely, positively real. She’s between 5’-8” and 5’-10”. Thick juicy thighs, wide hips, big beautiful breasts, pretty face, and a flat tummy and tiny waist. Oh, and Jeezus fucking God that ASS! She’s Dominican - of course!
The first “holy fucking shit” was just as I walked into her room. I came in wearing a face covering. She had left the door cracked ajar so I didn’t have to knock and as I walked in she stared at me and was moving slowly (more on why later). As she closed the door, I noticed this vixen in lingerie and couldn’t hold it in.
Someone asked me why I don’t book so-called “Instagram models.” Well, in short, it’s because you can get girls that look like Autumn. She happens to be a stripper from Miami (more on that later as well). I’m gonna spread these pics out or else you’ll stop reading here to go FAP somewhere and won’t finish reading the whole post.

https://preview.redd.it/9s9yknrbeku51.png?width=864&format=png&auto=webp&s=a859f724bcd99cdeedebf3659d48faa428486ee2
SHE’S A BOSS
Autumn is not an import. She’s from Miami and dances there and in Vegas. I noticed that she replaced “stripper” with “dancing.” She said that due to the pandemic, she shifted to doing this. She also didn’t want to utter terms like “sex work” or “escorting” when referring to what she does. She is the consummate professional and she handles her business in an organized and orderly fashion. In this, she reminded of Natasha. As women who have their shit together, they both have a stern and grounded personality. She is not bossy, but is a boss - no trace of an import’s mentality to exploit here.
Because of this, I asked permission for each and every little thing because she’s essentially non-GFE. In the text, she said "light" GFE. In person when I asked what she meant by "light GFE," she demonstrated it as light kisses on the cheek. Hahaha.

https://preview.redd.it/2p3woiv9fku51.png?width=697&format=png&auto=webp&s=af05c69676c7c6e3d0659efae6971172796d75a3
INTERESTING CONVO BEFORE
  • A hater who almost fucked it up for everyone. The reason why she answered the door so cautiously was she thought I was hotel staff since they were the only ones wearing masks. And the reason why she was expecting hotel staff is because someone earlier that night had called the front desk on her. It was a client. He traveled all the way the hotel only to go to the front desk and report her. She attributed his jerk behavior to his nationality; it wasn't a derogatory term but I won't print it here. She complained, "Those people are smart in a lot of things, but when it comes to sex they are very, very [weird]."
  • She mentioned her "business." It wasn't to boast; it was in passing to explain how this was her first time working in NYC.
  • She doesn’t like New York. She said she's come by a few times to vacation here but not to work. She was uncomfortable and had an uneasy feeling about the people; they were very different from those in Florida.
  • Talking about my “girlfriend” Jessica. A recurring theme both in this encounter and the second part of the double-header was Jessica, my #1 on my roster. We talked about her a lot. I brought it up more to make her feel comfortable by explaining that I have a long-time regular who is also Dominicana. It helped. But although I made it clear that she's an escort, Autumn kept referring to her as my "girlfriend."

https://preview.redd.it/ya91essx9lu51.png?width=864&format=png&auto=webp&s=4ba5d306fc17aa3ee5bca01dd0bbb523c15f1641
A PINCH TO MY HAND; SETTING THE ATMOSPHERE
Here's an interesting detail. There was still some underlying tension in the very beginning due to the fact that this was our first encounter, it was her first night in that location, and also due to that hater from before. I did my best to create a comfortable atmosphere. She's tidy, neat, and professional. While I was laying in the bed, she started by wiping me down before she started the blowjob. Maybe it was because the wipes were cool to the touch. Maybe her long nails nicked me.
For whatever reason, I winced and moved her hand away. In a split second, she reacted by pinching my hand and giving me a look. Haha. Noted. I responded by folding my hands behind my head, closing my eyes, and smiling. It was a sign that she was the boss and she had nothing to worry about. I yielded, and it worked wonders.
MEMORABLE BLOWJOB; ASKING PERMISSION
When she started the CBJ, she paused after a few a second to get her phone and start the timer. When she turned around I got a full glimpse of that ass again, and I couldn't help myself. Another obscenity-filled compliment escaped my mouth. I lunged for her ass with both hands and started munching on it. I said, "Your ass is like food to me." She enjoyed the compliment. We were very comfortable with each other now.
As she sucked me off, I was again taken by the sight of her ass and arched back. So I asked, "May I?" She obliged. I began rubbing her ass and smacked it as she continued sucking. What a view! She liked it that I loved her body, so she started twerking for me while sucking my dick.
I asked again, "May I? Fingers?" She obliged again and reached down and moved her panties out of the way. But before starting to finger her, I had us both move to the center of the bed. I fingered her as she worked. Little by little, we were crossing some GFE boundaries.
Then came this request: "I want to TASTE you, baby." She raised herself, paused for a second and said, "For a $50 tip, yes." Perfect.
I made a comment that she reacted to. I said, "Sure, I'm not poor." She responded, "It's not about you being rich or poor. I usually don't allow it so it's extra, that's all." I felt like that could've turned into something but it was avoided. Good.

https://preview.redd.it/fyryuvjqsku51.png?width=864&format=png&auto=webp&s=d304b7dfb55db86d514b4c0e6860246dd91cd4ea
SWEET PUSSY (LITERALLY)
A fucking Perfect. Pussy. Period. If I talk about this and how not every woman's pussy is this great, this post will be even longer. But get this, though...
Girls are putting artificial flavor in their pussies, now??? What da fuck!?! Nah, joking.
When I say this girl's pussy is sweet, it's not meant figuratively. She LITERALLY had a sweet pussy, like sugary, raspberries flavored, diabetes causing sweet. There's a simple reason behind this. I learned this early on with London Jennifer. Autumn uses flavored condoms, like Jennifer did as well, and that flavor stays on her pussy.
"Ahh! Papi, don't bite... please!" LOL. I started getting aggressive, and her hands were running through my hair as she began to feel the sensation rising, which led to the next very memorable line. She said...
"I WANT YOU INSIDE OF ME NOW. FUCK ME, PAPI!"
Don't gotta tell me that twice. Shiiiiiiiiiit. Those words and the way she said it made go wild. I take it it was my reward for doing a good job snacking on her pussy. I lifted up and she opened those juicy thighs for me to enter her. She then did something interesting. She grabbed me with both hands by the neck and pulled me in. The reason this was interesting is that while it felt like something passionate, it was actually a way of her controlling the distance of our faces. She doesn’t kiss. But she likes to tease.
Get this, she was staring into eyes as I was drilling her and she stuck her tongue out and motioned as if she was going to French kiss me. But with her hands holding my head, she would stop me when our tongues almost touched. Fuck!!! This girl.
Eventually, I moved past this “guard” - or should I say, she let me get past it - and went to nibbling on her neck. I kissed her on the forehead a few times as I was pounding. She returned the gesture by sucking on my left nipple. Then she pinched it for a bit. We got close but I didn’t cross her boundaries.
These things were what kept me in it because the thick condom she put on me prevented me from feeling much. But as always (always), when I turned up the speed and started jackhammering her, she tightened up and I definitely felt that.

https://preview.redd.it/2y0yvx81yku51.png?width=864&format=png&auto=webp&s=a5e6111450521215e9f82eef2d6982f90c0fe8f6
ACADEMY AWARD® WINNING DOGGYSTYLE
Holy fuck fucking Jeezus fuck! FUCK!!! All it means is I love the female body and I love casual sex. Thank the heavens for the variety that hobbying affords.
When she got in her stance, and she’s a big girl, I think a single tear left the corner of my eye.
I grabbed two giant handfuls of her well-fed Dominicana ass and spread it out for a better view of that pussy. No hands needed to guide me into her. When I entered, it was the sensation of her giant, soft ass pressed against me that I immediately savored. She shocked me by starting to fuck me - HARD. As great as it was, I’m vanilla, maybe even Puritan, so I insisted on taking over. I grabbed her tiny waist and applied force to stop her. This was different from her little pinch of my hand at the beginning. She didn’t protest but just stopped and waited. It’s a tiny detail but it meant something to me.
I went further. I adjusted her stance by forcefully pulling her back to me, raising her a tad bit, and spreading her out even wider. I even pulled her shoulders up and got her into an even deeper arch. And then the fun really began for me.
With the perfect position, perfect thrust, and perfect sounds, that ass bounced off of me JUST right. Thick condom or not, fucking Autumn in doggystyle was a treat. Maybe the thick condom helped because I got to go at it for a tad bit longer. Still, I came in no time. After the climax, I stayed in her a bit, rocking back and forth, running my fingers up and down her back and played with her tattoo.
Two hundred and ten dollars even. That was the price to get on this amazing ride. I might report this expenditure to my accountant for my taxes because it was an investment. (Sorry, I’m getting carried away here!)
INTERESTING CONVO AFTER
She had set a timer for our session, which thankfully had begun at the sex not when I first walked in. It went off long after the fucking had ended, sometime after I came back from the bathroom and started to get dressed. She had “stolen” one of my socks after mistaking it for hers. Again, she complimented my attire.
Our second conversation went on without any concern for the clock, and once again it was interesting.
  • “Like you and your girlfriend, I have clients that I’m very close to.” She’s the one who would call Jessica my girlfriend. She mentioned that with some of her close regulars, it’s no longer a sexual arrangement. She said, “I consider them as more than friends. They are family. I call them when I need help. It’s not money either.” She went on to share that some people have given her professional advice, gotten her benefits due to their field, and did favors for her family.
  • Recruiting for overnighters. I talked about how Jessica and I meet for overnighters and that I was essentially looking for more escorts like that. I told her that I pay Jessica $500 for it. She had a take on the whole overnighter thing, and it had nothing to do with my price being too low.
  • Autumn explained a bit more about her limits even with trusted clients. It let me know what my prospects were for recruiting her. “I prefer clients coming to me, not me going to them to their place. I like it when I meet men at my club so get to interact with a few times. Then MAYBE I will [do an outcall] to them for a short time like an hour. But to stay for many hours? No, I’m not comfortable with that. I’d have to really, really be comfortable with someone. But even then, I’m not sure if I could do that.”
  • It will take a lot for her to agree to overnighters. She said she doesn’t do it even with her close regulars. First of all, it’s a matter of personal space. I gathered that she likes to sleep alone. Secondly, it’s a matter of trust. She said she once had a regular for a long time who. “If you’re at their place, you can’t guarantee your safety and who knows what they’ll do to you.” But the good thing is she ended by saying she will think an overnighter with me, after we’ve gotten to know each other better.
  • She asked me what I did for a living. When I told her, she gasped and said, “You mean like the [non-derogatory reference to a certain nationality]???” I laughed.
“WHY DO YOU LATINAS ALWAYS PINCH OR SMACK MY ASS?”
She had remained completely naked since we finished fucking, even making the bed that way. And I continued admiring her body, interrupting the conversation with more obscenities. When she was bent over to make the bed, I walked over to rub on her ass, rub her pussy, and bury my face underneath for another quick lick. She didn’t mind one bit and just kept talking.
When it was time for me to leave, I gave her naked body a great big bear hug and grabbed another massive handful of her ass. She walked me to the door, still completely naked and still talking. It was then that she grabbed and pinched MY ass. I said, “Why is it that you Latinas always pinch or smack ME in the ass!?! Her response was, “It’s a cultural thing, Papi. It shows that we like you and are comfortable around you. It’s a good thing.”
Well, like Hispanic culture, I gave her a cheek kiss and walked out the door.
POTENTIAL AS A RECRUIT
No doubt about it, Autumn is a great find. As stated in the opening, this is all about grooming new ultra-GFE regulars. Autumn and I texted briefly after I left and we’ve texted some more this evening, just some light chit chat about where she’s going next and me working my way up to getting an overnighter with her.
Earlier I told myself that it would take too long to groom her into an ultra-GFE. Hell, I’m not even sure it’s possible. We’ll see what happens. Regardless, it’s great to have met her. What a great find on Escortbabylon. She should be charging 3 times as much. Repeating: no screening, no prepayment.
In spite of all this, I was NOT satisfied. I missed out on BBBJ and BBFS. So, when I got back to my car, I resumed texting the 3 other options I had waiting in the wings.
One of those happened to be just across the street at the next hotel. And she ended up being an instant ultra-GFE find. Jackpot!

Continued in (Part 2)
submitted by Langston1113 to havingfunhobbying [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 07:01 Gazelletail How do I (24F) get over my breakup with my ex (24F)? (I feel blindsided)

New account for some anonymity
My bf initiated a breakup because he said I’m “too nice, too empathetic, didn’t laugh at his jokes (he started listing jokes he told me ~4 months ago that I didn’t laugh at. They dealt with death and they just weren’t that funny), and that there are ‘so many guys around me, so why don’t I just go to them?’” (He later referred to a guy friend who complimented me on my Facebook profile pic).
He was sending me Goodmorning texts daily still (we’re long distance) until suddenly after nearly failing his med school exams, he FaceTimed me telling me all of what’s wrong with me. He also said he can’t be himself around me and can’t keep up a fake personality anymore.
He does have severe ADHD (relies on Adderall), is on the autism spectrum, and likely has antisocial personality disorder (he said he doesn’t really feel empathy)... I know my life would be so much better without him, but I really got blindsided and shocked that all the characteristics he first liked about me, he listed as reasons why he couldn’t be with me...
How do I get over this and not feel so hurt? It’s been 2 months now. I’m scared to be myself around others lately fearing they might think I’m “too nice.”
He came over two days after the FaceTime call, and kept wavering. He literally tried leaving and coming back about five times. Later he asked what I think we should do, and I just said let’s break up (because I was hurt and he said he needed to focus on med school anyway). We both cried too.
Last week he messaged me saying he misses me, but isn’t interested in dating right now and wants to be alone for awhile. He then said “it wasn’t anything you did. I just felt like I had to be somebody else to be with you.”
My other question is, what would make someone change their entire personality for their partner to begin with? I don’t know who I was dating then, and I can’t recall ever telling him to change anything (other than maybe giving romantic tips because he had zero experience. I’m the first girl he ever called beautiful, and no I didn’t force him to say that).
I know this is long, thank you all in advance for your time
TLDR; why would someone change their personality for their SO? how does one get over being nearly dumped for being too empathetic and nice to people?
submitted by Gazelletail to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 03:49 PussyCrusherUltimate Anyone else get very aroused to the risk of being found out as a girl online or being seen in public by people you know?

Lately I've found myself sending full pics and vids of me as a straight up girl without a care in the world. Make up and all. I used to only send body and booty pics of me when i began to CD out of fear of being found out but it seems to me that if everyone found out about me tomorrow, i wouldn't care at all? As a matter of fact, i feel like it would be so relieving and a huge weight off my chest because i now would not have to hide my secret anymore.
It basically almost feels like i want to subconsciously be caught as then i would have no choice but to embrace my feminine side. Like i even get strong urges these days to post my girl pictures as my main profile pics for hookup/dating apps. I want people to see how cute and sexy i look as a woman. I like to imagine all the friends and acquaintances of mine that would look at me differently while getting confusing arousing feelings. I like to think of just how many decent guys i would attract through dating apps with my face as a girl in full display for all to see.
Same thing with being out in public dressed. Never done it before but have been getting the urges strongly. Originally i would only want to do it ever if it was out of town and with at least another girl by my side but not quite sure about that now. A good CD friend i just met has invited me this weekend to go out with her and one of her other CD friends so we can go out as gals together to a trans/cd nightclub. The idea is very alluring to me now and maybe even doable during pandemic era.
I want to be approached by various men. I want to dance and grind like a slut on a guy or my fellow gals. I want to be fucked in the bathroom stalls as a girl. I even secretly fantasise about running into someone i know there and word getting out about me.
I want to make sissy/cd porn of me freely. I'm thinking real hard of uploading stuff of me with full face on camera eventually to porn sites. I feel like I'm pretty and sexy enough that how could i not lol i like the idea of men in my life finding porn of me on the internet and masturbating to me.
I want to run around downtown with other gals freely at night. Run around the beach. Show the whole world my female side.
Now truly I'm not ready at all for that kinda life shake up but it would give me no choice but to accept it. I would then be able to go out in public as a girl whenever i desire. I guess i just want the world to see me for the beautiful girl that i am.
submitted by PussyCrusherUltimate to Sissy [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 02:17 rustyelrobato 31[M4F] SATX/Anywhere - Turned off all phone notifications except yours.

Hello beautiful people reading this hope filled post names Vincent I’m 31 Hispanic born and raised in Texas grew up in a very religious household but not religious at all. Never drank or done any kind of drug nothing against them just not my thing don’t mind if my future partner does as long as they recreational and legal.
Best physical description of me would probably be a 5’9” teddy bear although never tried growing the bread till now going 2 weeks strong giving it a month but I don’t think I can grow a full beard so sorry ladies if that’s what your looking for.
Some of my hobbies are listening to podcast and audiobooks mostly sci-fi, love video games and anime but don’t worry I’ll always love you more ;). I do watch regular movies and tv shows also so you don’t have to worry I’ll still cuddle you whenever you want <3
Don’t have any kinds never been married always wanted a baby girl so I could dress her up and take those pictures kids hate in some flower field. Hopefully her mommy will sing her my favorite song baby shark, you’ll need practice so you can sign it to me nothing more adorable than you signing baby shark.
I work overnight work full time usually 47-50 hours a week so you know my schedule. Will be debt free around this time next year also want to buy a home shortly after that been saving up for a home and retirement.
I know this is long and thank you for reading hopefully you had a laugh. If you have any questions or would like to know more just DM or chat don’t matter to me I’m an open book I don’t get offended at all I have a dark sense of humor. Hope to hear from you soon future wifey, pic in post history.
submitted by rustyelrobato to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 02:14 rustyelrobato 31[M4F] SATX/Anywhere - Turned off all phone notifications except yours.

Hello beautiful people reading this hope filled post names Vincent I’m 31 Hispanic born and raised in Texas grew up in a very religious household but not religious at all. Never drank or done any kind of drug nothing against them just not my thing don’t mind if my future partner does as long as they recreational and legal.
Best physical description of me would probably be a 5’9” teddy bear although never tried growing the bread till now going 2 weeks strong giving it a month but I don’t think I can grow a full beard so sorry ladies if that’s what your looking for.
Some of my hobbies are listening to podcast and audiobooks mostly sci-fi, love video games and anime but don’t worry I’ll always love you more ;). I do watch regular movies and tv shows also so you don’t have to worry I’ll still cuddle you whenever you want <3
Don’t have any kinds never been married always wanted a baby girl so I could dress her up and take those pictures kids hate in some flower field. Hopefully her mommy will sing her my favorite song baby shark, you’ll need practice so you can sign it to me nothing more adorable than you signing baby shark.
I work overnight work full time usually 47-50 hours a week so you know my schedule. Will be debt free around this time next year also want to buy a home shortly after that been saving up for a home and retirement.
I know this is long and thank you for reading hopefully you had a laugh. If you have any questions or would like to know more just DM or chat don’t matter to me I’m an open book I don’t get offended at all I have a dark sense of humor. Hope to hear from you soon future wifey, pic in post history.
submitted by rustyelrobato to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 02:13 rustyelrobato 31[M4F] SATX/Anywhere - Turned off all phone notifications except yours.

Hello beautiful people reading this hope filled post names Vincent I’m 31 Hispanic born and raised in Texas grew up in a very religious household but not religious at all. Never drank or done any kind of drug nothing against them just not my thing don’t mind if my future partner does as long as they recreational and legal.
Best physical description of me would probably be a 5’9” teddy bear although never tried growing the bread till now going 2 weeks strong giving it a month but I don’t think I can grow a full beard so sorry ladies if that’s what your looking for.
Some of my hobbies are listening to podcast and audiobooks mostly sci-fi, love video games and anime but don’t worry I’ll always love you more ;). I do watch regular movies and tv shows also so you don’t have to worry I’ll still cuddle you whenever you want <3
Don’t have any kinds never been married always wanted a baby girl so I could dress her up and take those pictures kids hate in some flower field. Hopefully her mommy will sing her my favorite song baby shark, you’ll need practice so you can sign it to me nothing more adorable than you signing baby shark.
I work overnight work full time usually 47-50 hours a week so you know my schedule. Will be debt free around this time next year also want to buy a home shortly after that been saving up for a home and retirement.
I know this is long and thank you for reading hopefully you had a laugh. If you have any questions or would like to know more just DM or chat don’t matter to me I’m an open book I don’t get offended at all I have a dark sense of humor. Hope to hear from you soon future wifey, pic in post history.
submitted by rustyelrobato to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 01:41 johnstanton888999 "My boyfriend is ugly"

"I can honestly say my boyfriend is ugly by conventional standards but has ethics. Best Ive ever been treated + rises to my demands (thanks to you"----Propofol Ho - Gimme that D(iprivan) @Smooshfacepug https://mobile.twitter.com/Smooshfacepug
"There’s not a standard of attractiveness. Just cause I think my friend’s boyfriend is ugly doesn’t mean she thinks he is."---azenet @queenazenet
"I’m attracted to personality not looks, so if you think my boyfriend is ugly, well look the other way b**** mind your motherf****** business. 🗣Eyes"----Savannah @little_stylezz november 23rd 2019
"The biggest shock of adulthood is realizing everybody’s boyfriend is ugly"---wamí mamí @ooh_chile
"Good thing you think my boyfriend is ugly. More for me huh"---ashleigh @ashmeshell August 24th
"When you're in love,you don't realize your boyfriend is ugly,until when you are finding the right picture to show your friends???"---Pangolais(system crab) @mfontenkima
"my cousins boyfriend is ugly"---¡ale! @alezunn august 16th
"He said not to call other people’s boyfriends ugly because my boyfriend is ugly."---Nynn @nynnettg july 21st
"What do you care if my boyfriend is ugly in your eyes! he is handsome in my eyes! he's perfect boyfriend for me and he's my ideal man!"---Camela Shane Marie Faegane Babad @CamelaBabad
"Still bringing me up to people and saying my boyfriend is ugly? F*** out of here with your receding hairline. He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be"---Amanda @amanda_dejoie september 29th 2020
"I just want to say tht melissa boyfriend is ugly"---r9...... @a___lorna
"My boyfriend is ugly and I’m beautiful"---Aj baby @anjola_15 august 28th
"can you like stop telling molly that his boyfriend is ugly like that's none of ur business she is in love with him and that's all that matters keep that to yourself wth"----𝐢𝐬𝐚 @aIImyIiam
"how do i tell my super hot friend that her boyfriend is UGLY"--- c8 [email protected]_july 15th
"Kendra's boyfriend is ugly"---ivy ♡ PROTECT IMAN VELLANI*°:⋆ₓₒ @ivysdaisy july 11th
" Her boyfriend is ugly"---Paige @paigethe1st may 28th
"My answer to Everyone thinks my boyfriend is ugly and I can do better. I love his personality. Should I work on blocking people out or should I break up coz even I can see his physical flaws? "----SistaLove-Psychic @SistaloveP
"who gonna tell livs current personality her boyfriend is ugly asf" ---ciara⁷ @esnyvhope March 27th
"My sister boyfriend is ugly as hell. Least he can do is treat her right"----AJ WIT THE GØØDT CØØCHIE @_AyeeeNasty4rea February 16th
"My Boyfriend Is Ugly But The Way He Treats Me Is So Perfect"[email protected]. December 28th 2019
"Demi’s boyfriend is ugly"---tammy @sugemidnight december 16th 2019
"i support her like for real man 100% but damn... her boyfriend is ugly af, but i don't have courage to tell "--- nanas2703 @nanas27031 december 13th
"her boyfriend is ugly but he still has the girl you want"---december 2nd 2019
"she’s right my boyfriend is ugly"---LunkHead Basketball mane @AlexAF_4328 october 4th
"No! She won’t say shit about it. Honestly I think she just salty Ronnie is still friends with Roger. And her new boyfriend is ugly Woozy face"----тѕυηαмι мαмí @KayyRiv October 4th 2019
"yes I did unfollow my friend bc her white boyfriend is ugly and scares me"---тѕυηαмι мαмí @KayyRiv october 1st
"me: “her boyfriend is ugly” sister: “at least she has one” ....bitch keeps me humble"---t @taaarynitup september 9th 2019
"Oomfs boyfriend is ugly "----NIK @NikitaRayy september 9th
"Supervisor is over here chopping it up with a coworker who told me her boyfriend is ugly and cheats on her. Gotta love the frauds."---Logic stan account @kiarasworldd september 9th 2019
"My boyfriend is ugly but I love him."---吴沙拉. @mxntrachet september 8th 2019
"Lol when girls say someone's boyfriend is ugly but their boyfriend ain't too cute either Clown face"----Gabriela Quiñones @Gabchat42 august 30th 2019
"My bd keeps saying I down graded because he thinks my boyfriend is ugly Face with tears of joy my boyfriend doesn’t beat me, treats me like a queen, oh and f**** me better. I could care less if he’s uglier because I upgraded the second I met him"---- Jacquelyn @Jackie_annee august 21st 2019
"To be fair, her boyfriend is ugly. So really the app was doing her a favor."----ho in this house @JoellasWorld august 19th 2019
Found this searching twitter .com/search for "boyfriend is ugly"
"it’s kinda funny when straight couples on tinder are looking for a unicorn and the only pics are of the gf bc u just know the boyfriend is ugly"----jenny @sovietbby_ August 19th 2019
"alyssa thinks my boyfriend is ugly , thanks"----nicole @geauxsneaux august 14th 2019
"My cousin’s boyfriend is ugly as hell"--- Jas. @HeyJasmine july 30th 2019
"lmao I went to Yakima to visit my family and my niece saw the picture of gunnar and I as my locksreen and said my boyfriend is ugly"----⋆ 𝕞𝕒𝕪𝕣𝕒 ⋆ ACAB @mayrarruizz May 29th 2019
"Sis your boyfriend is ugly, chill."---La Jackie @jade_illusion april 27th 2019
"My cousins boyfriend is ugly AND homophobic "----sonya @cheaplatinum April 10th 2019
"feels like 90% of the girls looking for other girls on t*nder have a boyfriend or husband they want a threesome with and i'm just ---- so tiiiired. i can barely handle trying to approach 1 person much less 2 ??? plus 80% of the time the husband or boyfriend is ugly im sorry lol"--- @slytherinmonroe May 31st 2019
"My moms boyfriend is ugly asf "---stef @AMOUR_XOXOXOX march 30th
"“lol this girl w her Boyfriend looking at me in the train like im about to steal her boyfriend or sth. Little does she know her boyfriend is ugly and that i have a girlfriend myself”"---lizy @Elizabethmashh march 30th
"My sister’s boyfriend is UGLY"----PLEASE DONATE TO MUTUAL AID FUNDS @gayjudas march 20th 2019
"Maddie just told me “your boyfriend is ugly”----.DatDamnGlover. @KrazyyKuban March 15th 2019
"Unrelated but my sisters newest boyfriend is ugly why does she have such bad taste"---- Julia @JParsons_40 march 9th 2019
"My little sister’s new boyfriend is ugly majsjsm"---avilicious @fstopongo february 25th
"No offense but my sister’s boyfriend is ugly af, like sis what you doin?"----𝕊 𝕥 𝕒 𝕔 𝕖 𝕪 ★ @R11NGA february 3rd
"My boyfriend is ugly and he knows it"---NANCY @bipxlarqxeen january 8th 2019
"Idc if my next boyfriend is ugly. As long as he likes Banda and he likes dancing, we good lol"---Evelyn @evelynbautistaa December 29 2018
"I told my mom that her boyfriend is ugly and she said, “so is yours” Weary face"---Rickie Jageman @RickieRooo December 24th 2018
"my aunt and cousin keep telling me that my boyfriend is ugly and that i’m too cute for him. why are people like this? looks will FADE, i’m inlove with his personality and his humor, he’s so talented and passionate and i happen to find him VERY attractive. so fuck off jesus christ"----hayley @hayleystruggles December 15 2018
"Lira’s boyfriend is ugly than a MF"---QueenNurse. @TiyNotTy november 25th 2018
"my boyfriend is ugly"--- Eisqil Yuliana @Ceqil november 17th 2018
"my mom thinks my boyfriend is ugly. well bitch i guess we both into ugly dudes because your husband looks like a fucking rat so shut up"---xochitl @bugattibaaby November 13th 2018
"Her boyfriend is ugly as SHIT, I swear to god you have not seen this motherfucker he’s even uglier than her last bf, why is her taste in men horrible smh"----Hisu is sad and pregregnert @DeadGayYmir november 1st 2018
"My grandma says my boyfriend is ugly "---Keamohetswe @LiiMpHo october 6th 2018
Found this searching twitter .com/search for "boyfriend is ugly"
submitted by johnstanton888999 to u/johnstanton888999 [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 23:22 beautytgirl 26 [ t4m] beautiful curvy trans girl looking for tall athletic guy

Beautiful trans girl curvy blond double ds round booty looking for athletic muscle type tall guy with a bwc to go out casual date drinks and some fun hit me up with the pics of what u look like and ur description and I get back at you
submitted by beautytgirl to houstonr4r [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 19:25 Bthealpha Fuck simps they make every girl feel entitled

For all you guys putting all these 5s on a pedestal telling them good morning beautiful, buying all there crusty as toe pics, liking all there pound cake pictures, just over hyping them you need to stop that shit immediately this is a PSA we must abolish simping add that shit to the constitution it’s illegal to simp, girls are walking around with there head up there ass thinking there some kind of Disney princess cause of you simps out here with no back bone buying everything they sell you and they don’t even txt you back, simping has gone to far it’s time fellas to take a stand and grow a backbone
submitted by Bthealpha to Vent [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 18:29 handsomewhirl 33 [m4f] Are you searching for an intellectual emotional and intimate connection?

I am the type of man who loves sharing pleasure. You need that. You need it again and again and again. You love hot, passionate sex. You've met up with strangers from here several times only to leave disappointed with mediocre sex at best. You crave the anticipation and build up of meeting up with someone who exceeds your expectations. You love that feeling of euphoria when that sexy hung guy with whom you actually click, slides his thick cock into you for the first time. Slowly. Inch by in with every little gasp. Whispering into your ear how beautiful you feel.
You've had nights where you just laid in bed craving round after round. You've had it before, but toys are only amusing for so long. You've had a long enough dry spell and you're definitely open to finding that moment again. I like women who know exactly what they want. You're my girl.
More than anything, I need to feel your ecstasy. Over and over and over again.
You are SUPER picky about who you allow into your life, your home and inside of you. You are well educated, career minded, expect the same age or older - yes, even in some random man from Reddit, you only want someone with whom you would socialize in real life. Freaky behind closed doors, yet classy and refined. I always act like a gentlemen.
I am SUPER picky as well. I'm well educated, career minded, tall, handsome, caucasian, hwp and have my life together. I just also happen to enjoy hot passionate kinky fun with women who enjoy things above average.
☑️ About me:
☑️ You MUST be:
👉🏼 Send me a message on here or kik or snapchat, my account is same as Reddit username (handsomewhirl). Let's chat, share pics and see if we are mutually interested.
submitted by handsomewhirl to r4rDFW [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 17:06 Flashy_Neighborhood1 My baby doesn’t deserve this.

Its my fault. But not ALL my fault. We were best friends. Somewhere something went wrong, and we couldn’t find it in us to do what was needed to salvage our beautiful relationship. We have ten years of memories. We were together for 3 years. I had a 3 month old daughter, and you said “shouldve been my baby. I want you, i want this baby, i want to be a family.” Now fast forward, and i know in my heart there can be no more us, our family doesnt have a chance. What hurts me the absolute most is the fact that my beautiful baby girl’s life as she knows it is changing so much and the family shes known forever is broken. How do i explain to her that mommy and daddy will always love eachother, but that we wont be cuddling the three of us as we fall asleep, no more family outings to the river, and no more going out to eat as a family....???? You wont be seeing cousin maddi all that often. Going out to your best friend chevy’s house is going happen a lot less frequently. You may not get to speak to daddy every day.. im sorry baby, no more family pics the three of us.. we both love you so much and this has nothing to do with anything you’ve done, you’re perfect. How the f*** do i stay strong for her when all i want to do is fall asleep and stay asleep. I would give anything to go back. Change my attitude, my perspective. I would give anything to have my family back. In the past, no contact has been easiest way for me to move on. But in this case, i cant do no contact. The two of them love eachother so much. I just have to suffer. I just dont know how to cope.
submitted by Flashy_Neighborhood1 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 15:16 PromiseMe4Ever 35[T4M][US/Anywhere] This ad-have you...Reddit? 😂

I posted not long ago, got a few responses, talked to someone for a few days and I’m typical Reddit tradition was ghosted. If you plan on doing the same, this isn’t the ad for you.
I am a pansexual trans woman who lives a stealth life and only the people close to me know I’m not a cis woman. I am currently pre op but as soon as I save enough, I do want GRS. I work full time and own a small business, have my life(mostly) together, and am DDF.
I want someone who wants to take the time and get to know each other, someone ultimately looking for “the one”. I want to fall in love, build a life together, and live “happily ever after”. One day I dream of a beautiful wedding, and being a wife(what girl doesn’t). I am also great with children so it’s okay if you have them or want them!
I’m looking for someone in shape, clean cut, who has ambition in life. You should want to settle down and be willing to put the work into a relationship. Masculine men are definitely my kryptonite!
I’m in the US But open to online/distance to start, although in time I would want to find a way to rectify that by one of us relocating obviously. I could ramble on and on but I’ll leave something for us to talk about when you message me-which you should do...........NOW! My inbox and messages are open! CLEAN pics available to trade, hopefully relatively early on. And PLEASE have some substance and information about yourself in your message if you message me.
TL;DR-I’m pretty awesome-if you are too message me!
submitted by PromiseMe4Ever to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 12:48 Thisdude12456810 Not sure where to start and telling myself "It could be worse" sometimes just doesn't work.

I honestly don’t even know where to begin. I wasn’t just given a silver spoon, I was given a silver platter. My father is a physician, classic rags to riches story. I was given and currently have every advantage there is to life. I am spoiled. My father raised me to be humble. I don’t flaunt the wealth or anything like that, but if I ever need anything, it’s only a card swipe away. My dad is the hardest working man I know. He sees twice as many patients as any other doctor. He studied in his youth with fire and determination in his eyes. He studied without the power of the internet at his fingertips. His way of motivating me as a kid was telling me that I’d be cleaning other kids’ toilets. This one kid in particular, in the grade below me, another doctor’s son, would win every highest average award there was to win. I never won those awards. My dad said I’d be cleaning that guy’s toilets. And sure enough, fast forward to today. By now I have confronted my dad about this and he said he felt bad for that, but it’s already engrained. I just want to make him proud. I just want to get into med school. That guy not only got into med school, he got into John Hopkins med school.
I’m in a Masters program that was only supposed to be 1 year long. I went through an ugly breakup at the beginning of the program and it made me so depressed. She left me for the guy she told me not to worry about. More nights than I can count where I cried myself to sleep and tortured myself. I cut myself off from the world, I would check social media over and over again. I was living by myself which made the depression and racing thoughts even worse. I could care less about my schooling. And so now I am in a much better place a year later, repeating the program however, which never looks good. I’m also living in a nice house where rent is split between me and three of my close friends. To have that kind of energy surrounding me 24/7 my mood and everything is so much more elevated.
But I’m depressed again on the inside. All of my friends are slightly older than me and in med school, close to finishing. To see them talk about their med school struggles, rant and vent about their rotations. I envy that. I want that. I’m not doing well in my classes again, which makes me feel even more shameful. This program in all honesty feels like somewhat of a cash grab. Everything is being rushed. I’m not even studying for the knowledge, I’m studying simply for the grade. All this information exits my brain as soon as I’m done with the test.
Through a series of events I find myself talking to someone. She’s very pretty, sweet, kind, funny and easy to talk to. She’s a little older than me. I’m a 23 year old guy and she’s 27, soon to be 28. I could care less and I think she’s slowly not caring either. At first she’d bring it up every now and then, but not so much anymore. She’s a lawyer. Drives a nice car, works in a nice high top office. Her mom is stay at home and her dad owns a liquor store.
She worked her ass off, had no help and had this tunnel vision for what she wanted. She’s over here telling me that she’s worried I’m too young? She’s over here posting pictures on Instagram with her and her friends, and then proceeds to text me on the side and explain herself? What I mean by explain herself was she randomly texted me how the angle of some pictures at her friend’s engagement party she felt like she looked chubby, then later I saw the pics and realized she was referring to that. I noticed nothing and she looks beautiful. She’s over here trying to justify herself to me?? I’m a nobody, and she’s this kind, beautiful, successful person. I don’t deserve her.
I’m a 23-year-old healthy guy. I work out regularly and eat right. I can stop a lot of things but I can’t stop genetics. In the past year I noticed my hair thinning around the crown. It might have accelerated during the Fall of 2019 and that was a new stress in my life these past few months. It has completely changed my everything. Apparently it’s not as bad as I might think, but all I’m ever doing these days is running my hand through the thin part, taking these birds-eye-view pictures to only stress myself out even more. I recently took the plunge to taking medication which I said I wouldn’t but here we are, in fear of messing up my hormones. My hair is my hair. It’s always been a part of my identity. I was always known for styling it certain ways that looked kinda wack but people said that I could pull it off. One year I had a mild mowhawk, another year I had a brow flow, and now I usually fade it up. But for the first time ever, these past few months I will leave the house with this constant underlying level of anxiety and fear that people can see the slight thinning from the back. I fear the girl I’m seeing might notice it.
I envy my friends/roommates for being in med school and what sucks even more is that whenever we’re just hanging out, whether it’s just us or it’s us and some other friends we will invite over, I do this thing where I can’t help myself. I will simply look at and lowkey admire all my friends’ hairlines. None of them have the receding hairline or crown thinning. They’re even the same ethnicity as me. I torture myself even more by thinking “damn why me” because I take care of myself. I work out 5-6 days a week, I count my calories, I count my macronutrients, I take my vitamins, and I drink my 5-6 cups of Green Tea. Meanwhile they are working long hours, stressed out of their minds, and mind you they also eat ridiculously unhealthy and on their days off they might get high or drink a lot. But their hairs are fully intact.
On the surface I come across as an intact human being that’s pretty chill. On the inside all of this is going on. I don’t want to be a shithead, I don’t want to be the spoiled son that’s up to nothing. I want to have my shit together. I should be thankful atleast I have financial support, family and friends that love me, access to whatever I need/want, and thankful to even be in the Masters program.
In all honesty I’ve seen my friends be judgmental. I’ve seen them say a thing or two about people that “aren’t up to much” and I don’t even mean that in an awful way. They aren’t going out of their way to be mean, it’s just casual conversation. But I see that and think, I don’t want to be on the other end of that. My friends see me staying up and studying for these late night tests. They offer me red bulls and offer to get me food late at night. Little do they know that I feel as if I already know I’m going to fail the test. My ways of studying are not disciplined and all over the place, and I don’t even know what to do. Cause like I said, I tried the honest route, I studied the material for what it was and it still didn’t pay off. I have access to old tests and in all honesty, memorizing those old test answers felt more useful and did more good than genuinely studying the material. Even my med school friends talk about how they study for their tests and then forget everything afterwards.
I can’t even type into Google “Repeating a Masters program for med school” because instead the results that pull up are “repeating first year of med school.” I look at the machine thinking “I’m not even in med school yet, repeating a Masters program must not be a common thing.”
Not sure why I wrote this, I had to let it out. I don’t even feel as if my pain/situation is warranted given that I have a lot of what most people don’t. I should be thankful, but it still feels like I'm slowly drowning.
submitted by Thisdude12456810 to depression [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 10:57 Giantguy12345 [m4f] 18+ birthday wishes lead to seduction in a big way

[m4f] birthday wishes lead to seduction and a big surprise
Hi there is msybe a slightly unusual one but I'm hoping you will like it. I'm looking for a literate , detailed , descriptive female to try the following:
You play my loving wife ( you can show me a picture of how you wish to look like as my wife) . You love me, adore me and worship me. One day whilst I am at work you discover some files on the computer stating growth... curious you open it to find loads of videos of girls panicking as they grow taller and taller into huge giantess . More files labelled expansion, with women's boob, butt, hips, pregnant belly, thighs etc all blowing up larger and larger..
You are shocked but so desperate to make my dream come true ( and especially as it's my birthday coming up ) you go out and purchase a wishing bracelet . Whilst I am at work you prepare a beautiful dinner and dres yourself up in a really sexy cosplay outfit of my favourite superhero for me ( you can choose and surprise me with pic of what it would look like) .
When I get home , you slowly start to seduce me by making secret quiet wishes to slowly alter your body and to try and turn me on...
As we are about to go further you give me control of the bracelet...BIG MISTAKE .. things soo get out of your control and soon your scared as you grow larger than humanly possible in many ways, as I force you larger and larger ...
I hope this roleplay interests someone. As I said I want someone with enthusiasm , a good writing style and someone who will also use pictures to help illustrate the story along the way.
Once we've done this roleplay I'd very much like to try and return the favour for a partner who has genuinely tried .. can't wait to hear from you all xx
submitted by Giantguy12345 to Dirtypenpalsuk [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 09:10 FACE6000 This is some funny stuff

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged bea
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2020.10.21 09:03 FACE6000 this is funny right?

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung,
TL,DR Dont frick with bees
submitted by FACE6000 to funny [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 22:42 Vanzsom Insecure girlfriend.

Basically, I'm with this girl for a little over 6 months now. The start of the relationship was a bit shaky for both of us. She made it clear that she didn't want me to have any connections with my ex. Me and my ex broke up on good terms and we were chatting every couple of weeks to see whats up. I agreed with my now GF and told my ex i didnt feel okay with talking with her as i want to move on. I still had a picture of my ex on my ibstagram which i put for her birthday when we were dating. My now GF didnt feel comfortable with this and i couldnt understand why, after a few weeks of arguing i finally agreed to remove the pictures and that was that. I deleted everything that included her. Which means all our pictures on my phone and my messages both on messenger and on instagram.
I honestly forgot to delete her phone number and messages on my phone since i barely use these and she noticed it while i was talking looking for something on my phone. Hence another huge fight.(This was the first 3 months of the relationship)
Fast forward to september,im currently studying at the same uni as my ex, and she feels massively insecure as were in a LDR. During mu first Few weeks she was barely understanding and used to get so angry that i didnt tell her exactly where i was, with who i was or every little detail of what ecactly i was doing. I once forgot my powerbank and told her this and she said that i dont care about her as i forgot my powerBank?????
We fight every single day. Either because i left her on read for 2 mins, or that she doesnt feel i include her in my day or that i dont talk to her to tell her exactly about my day. Eventhough i feel like i really do. I call her everyday, when im not studying im texting with her even if im with friends. And she knows exactly what is happening around me. I call ber whenever im walking alone. Send her pictures. And call her everynight before i sleep. But it all isnt enough.
The other day i was having a night out with my friends and told her this. One of my guy friends came over and we went to the supermarket next to my place. I didn't tell her that i left the house and she was also drunk and she told me that i dont care, that if i want to act single that i should tell her so she can do the same, that she wont concern herself with me, that i dont give a shit and a few other things i dont really remember. I was replying to her with either "okay" or "alright" while she was ranting. She also admitted that she feels insecure today. That she still thinks about the things that i did during the start (the pictures,messages) and she feels that ill message my ex. Ive given my all to her. Ive introduced her to my parents. To my sisters. Ive invited her to all family dinners. And the weeks before i left i spent most of my time with her rather than with family.
She hets angry because i might like a girls picture and always asks me where i know a girl that im following. We had a fight the other day as she was stalking a girl and found a pic from a year ago that i liked(before i even started talked with my gf) Ive unfollowed this girl way before and forgot she even existed. I told this to her and she says that its weird that i like random girls pictures.
She also said that im "too friendly" with other girls. Im generally a social person so i would treat a girl no different from a boy. She also said that i look around too much, and check out other girls eventhough i just like looking around me.
Anyway, im really at a lost here. I really do like her and i really want to make this work. She helped me countless times and when were not fighting were so happy. Shes a sweet smart beautiful girl who would gibe the world for me.
Im at a lost, am i the one in the wrong? Is it normal?
submitted by Vanzsom to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 21:15 the_messer Shop Local This Christmas! (r/NorthernIreland's list of local shops and businesses)

General gifts

Born and Bred (from u/oldfilmjanitor) - This site actually looks amazing. Based in Belfast they've a pile of really great gifts, all sourced from local artists and designers
Crafty Fox - Killinchy. From u/javarouleur
The Nest - Broughshane. From u/javarouleur
Love Creative Therapy - St. George's Market and online sellers. Handbags, Clutch Bags, Purses, Craft Accessories, Wallets, Fabric pots etc.
Zara ceramics for mugs that can be personalised (From u/hm8g10)
Bearded Candle makers sell in St George’s and they are just fantastic. Love their scents - nothing sickly or gross (From u/hm8g10)
The Buttermarket and Fermanagh Cottage Industries also have great gifts that support local people. (From u/fermango)
Christmas Card Bundles - Belfast, from u/megacky's wife.
Wrapped UP - Belfast, A shop in castle court called 'Wrapped up' is also great. I think it's all by different local artists etc. (From u/darwinsbarnacle01 )
This Person from NI makes good pins for stocking fillers (From u/izacmac)
Barn Owl Boutique - Saintfield. If you’re in Saintfield the Barn Owl Boutique is lovely for gift ideas. (From u/princess_mothership)
The Hanging Knot - Portadown. Is an Insta/Etsy business who does macrame and weaving based in Portadown (From u/redditor930530)


Alcohol

Symphonia - Gin from Dungannon (from u/missymissyD)
Boatyard Distillery - More local gin, this time from Fermanagh

Art

(Are you a painter? Shout out where people can buy your stuff)
Dustie Roo sell prints of floral arrangements that are really beautiful (From u/hm8g10)
Noop designs have some really great Northern Irish themed prints (From u/hm8g10)
Camlake Canvas - Fermanagh based artist with some amazing stuff. Also takes commission - painted our doggo and it was brilliant.
Aly Harte also does prints and paintings (From u/hm8g10)
I love Doghouse Gallery in Comber and Kingfisher Gallery in Killyleagh for local art, prints, jewellery, decorations etc. (From u/isotala)
John Robinson Art - Belfast. He does the art on Boundary Brewing cans, based in Belfast. (From u/TunaFish88)
Le Petit Pois Gallery abstract paintings and prints (From u/redditor930530)
A Work of Heart bespoke and personalised prints based in Tandragee (From u/redditor930530)

Bath / Body Gifts

Mermaid Cove - Richmond Centre, Derry. (bath, body and home products...bath bombs, soaps, wax melts, all cruelty free & vegan, owner is an absolutely lovely woman!)
Hex Bomb - Belfast. (Another Northern Irish bath bomb company, though I believe are Belfast based)
Bubba's Meltys (And a wax melt company)
The Scented Scullery - Lurgan is fantastic. From u/RiverPondlife
Also Serenity Beauty - I know its not maybe local crafts but let's face it,the beauty industry is dying here and I know for a fact the owner of this place goes above and beyond for her clients. Plus she has her own skin care range if you're thinking of gifts for the missus. From u/RiverPondlife
Plumpy Balms - Plumpy is a beautiful little Vegan brand with the greatest lip balms. Check out their Lemon Pop - it's a miracle cold sore treatment. They also do tinted lip balms and face and body balms too. (From u/eimcca80)

Book Shops

No Alibis probably best known local book shop.
Books Papers Scissors also in Belfast
Little Acorns Bookstore in Derry (girl who runs this place seems like a legend!)
Bookends in Bangor
Bridge Books in Dromore
(Comic stores in 'Games / Nerdy stuff / Models category below)

Clothing / Accessories

Bog Man Beanie from u/Sprongle18
O'Neills from u/only-shallow
Bleu Bird Apparel is a great local clothing line too, has some nice stuff, own a t shirt and a hoodie from them. (From u/MarinaGranovskaia)
Kooky Sheep Designs. I've seen a few people order hats and stuff from Kooky Sheep Designs. They make bespoke croqueted items on request. Hats and the like. I linked their Instagram, but they're is also a link to their etsy in their bio. I think you can find one you like on Instagram, and ask for it to be made for your size. Or just make something up. (From u/GrandWakandaPanda)
Little Design Co. For prints and customised clothes I recommend (From u/Sufficient_Slip)

Cooking / Food

Harland Homesyle - Etsy store from redditor u/PM-me-Gophers and his wife, selling handcrafted herbs and spices. Perfect smaller gifts for friends / stocking fillers. Also going to be increasing their range substantially in November, so keep an eye out!
https://www.rockadoodledo.com/products/ - Redditor u/rockadoodledobelfast sells some amazing hot sauces online and at St. George's Market. Started out years ago by giving away samples to 50 redditors for feedback!
Erne Larder Preserves - Fermanagh. For delicious jams and chutneys (From u/fermango)
Layer Cake - Lisburn. does great cupcakes. It was the one place that made me actually venture to Lisburn when I’d be back home for a visit) (From u/ambivert1902)
Mike’s Fancy Cheeses - Belfast. Locally sourced and produced. Has a wee shop in Belfast and also does deliveries including breads etc. Great idea for social distancing Xmas pressie (From u/RedLouStar)
Ebron's Enterprise - Portadown. (family run bakery - flipping delicious and Christmas range coming out soon!) (From u/redditor930530)
HollieBerrie cakes and treat boxes (From u/redditor930530)
Lily Pink Bakery incredible cakes and currently doing treat boxes too! (From u/redditor930530)
Nearynógs do all things chocolate, based in Newry but have stockists all over. (From u/Louthgirl)
Enrich & Endure make gorgeous linen aprons and have also started making face coverings. Online shop but you've probably seen their aprons in your favourite café (From u/Louthgirl)
387 Ormeau Road (that's the cafe name and address) does some great food, and it's all vegan friendly. Brownies, cake slices, hot food, independent soft drinks and coffee blends, and groceries. They even post what they have available on their Facebook page, complete with the ability to reserve items. (From u/Irockz)
The Nutmeg - lovely health food store on Lombard Street in Belfast. Stocks all sorts of healthy, organic, and vegan things, from supplements to frozen food to crisps to chocolate to homemade sandwiches and sausage rolls.

Crafts / Pottery

Ceramics By Rachel - Done by redditor u/Sufficient_Slip. "For animal sculpture and functional ceramic crafts checkout out Ceramics By Rachel. I also do commissions if there is something you would want personalised you can get in touch through my insta:@ceramicsbyrach
Mud Ireland - I also highly recommend Josh for excellent handmade dinnerware (From u/Sufficient_Slip)
Claire Kennedy Maker - Claire makes pit fired vases and colourful mugs (From u/Sufficient_Slip)
Gilmartins Craft Shop Some gorgeous pieces here for those that like ornaments. They also have a sale section for the penny pinchers like me, with some lovely items. (From u/fermango)
Belleek Pottery Obviously a bigger, more well known company but again they have some gorgeous pieces for the ornament lover at Christmas (From u/fermango)

Environmentally Friendly Gifts

UseLess Shop (Society Street in Derry....environmentally friendly shop, sells reusable items, restock of grains/pasta)
Whiskey Woodcraft for handmade gifts from Irish whiskey barrels (Personal note - this is class). From u/fermango

Games / Nerdy stuff / Models

Replay Games in Bangor from u/mangokid555
Angry Cherry (Foyle Street, Derry....comics/geeky shop, also sell the likes of Nemises Now/Alchemy England)
Modeller's Corner - Enniskillen. From u/Scrabo - Radio Controlled Cars/Aircraft, Plastic Model Kits (Airfix etc), Model Railway, Collectors Models, Terrain and Paint, Board Games and puzzles. It's small a family run business. Also has a Light fitting business joined to it but I don't think that part does online stuff.
Coffee and Heroes - Belfast, Smithfield Market. Huge range of comics and comic related goodness. If they don't have it they can usually source it quite quickly for you, well worth a visit :) From u/CaptainGurrash
Comic Book Guys - Belfast. Great comic book shop in Belfast. Great selection of comics, gifts, tshirts etc. Would be a great addition to the games/nerdy stuff category. From u/DogLor

Homeware / Textiles

Home, Field and Stream - Enniskillen. Houseware (denby, small appliances etc) fishing gear, barbacues, christmass trees and decorations
Vintage & Value - Lurgan. Very cute homeware and decor based in Lurgan (From u/redditor930530)
Moore Horticulture Equipment - Saintfield. Wee family business for lawnmower equipment and stuff (From u/sam54678)
Maven- Belfast. Homeware and textiles. (From u/pixeljunky)
Coffee x Cactus (plants) (From u/pixeljunky)

Kids Toys / Accessories / General Children Stuff

Kings- Keady. From u/missymissyD (I can vouch for this one as well, they've some great stuff)
David Rogers Toymaster - Banbridge / Portadown From u/missymissyD
MK Toys - Belmont Road, Belfast. Purveyors of toys and games for adults and kids. (From u/narchy)

Jewellery / Piercings and Body Jewellery

Painted Earth - Newcastle. (from u/oldfilmjanitor)
BBlane Designs Belfast based jewellery designer. (From u/isotala)
Le Cheile - Lurgan. They are an online Jewelry shop that also sells out of StudioTwenty in Lurgan if you want great quality, hand made Jewelry (From u/Mahatma-Shandy)
Claire Elizabeth Bespoke Jewellery - A local jewellery maker who does fantastic stuff (from u/darwinsbarnacle01)
Greenwood and Co - make beautiful handmade jewellery and sell other gift items (From u/princess_mothership)
SimplyN handmade jewelry! (From u/redditor930530)
Megan Made This - Megan does beautiful vases and jewellery (From u/Sufficient_Slip)
Vivid Clay is a jeweller. Her Etsy shop is linked but I think Born & Bred are a stockist. (From u/Louthgirl)
Pic & Mix - Belfast. They also do gift vouchers for those unsure if what size is needed :) The shop is currently still open for jewellery, but piercing gift cards are still available for use after the Lockdown (From u/Dragon-Tea)

Miscellaneous Gifts

Free From Fog. Omagh based store selling glasses that specifically don't fog up when you're wearing masks. Handy for the normal people but apparently a game changers for doctors / nurses / dentists etc.
Jackson’s which sells everything and has a shop in Moira as well. They have a clothes shop, a health shop, a hardware section, a kitchen and homeward section. If you can think of something they don’t have they’ll go out of their way to order it in. (From u/princess_mothership)
Broighter Gold Rapeseed Oil (I wasn't going to add this but their website was compelling, so here they are!) (From u/flyfairy19)
Grosvenor Tropicals (Lisburn) and Exotic Aquatics (Belfast) for anything aquarium related (From u/minus_8)
Suki Tea (Belfast) and Boden Park Coffee (Belfast) for my fellow hot beverage loving hipsters. (From u/minus_8)
Connect the Dots Design does stationery. Lots of Irish Christmas cards if that's what you're into. (From u/Louthgirl)

Music

Cool Discs - Derry for CD's / Vinyl (mostly vinyl cause who the fuck buys CD's anymore) (From u/CMadden1)
Voodoo Soup - a record shop across from Smithfield Market. Does a mad variety of CDs and Vinyl for good prices (£3 a pop for almost every CD. And fuck off with that who buys CDs shite, I do, and they wouldn't be selling them in the first place if nobody bought them.) (From u/Irockz)

Photography

PhotomonkeyNI - Personalised photo gifts, custom framing, photo printing, t-shirts, photo canvas ... Any thing image orientated. Even does cine and video to DVD (From u/HarrysDa)

Sports Wear

Topping Leisure - Comber. If you every plan on a Ski/Surf holiday again after all this dies down i would always recommend (them). Their website isn't great, but to be honest its the kind of place you have to visit. If you ever go Skiing, do yourself a favour and get your equipment from there. They are the only shop in N.Ireland (and maybe all of Ireland) which will custom fit, heat molded ski boots. In the summer they transition to Wetsuits and surf gear. Overall i would suggest avoiding shops like Tresspass and just go there, because there is nothing more miserable than skiing/snowboarding and being cold/wet because of bad gear. From u/SomewhatIrishfellow

Technology

(we're lacking in this department)
Suggestions for good independent tech (home automation, photography, PC component) shops that stock decent kit and aren't ludicrously more expensive than online are welcome. (From u/minus_8)
submitted by the_messer to northernireland [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 08:20 MurasakiZetsubou 27 [M4F] Beast from Cavite looking for his Beauty

You probably see my username often in this sub. One time, I was looking for a pretend gf to replace the date I had scheduled, another I was looking for an online gf, just yesterday I was begging for nudes on my birthday lol. Before you berate me on the title of my post, I'm just gonna be clear here, I've been pretty desperate recently and I realized that wasn't gonna work. I was looking for someone who would hopefully never get tired of my negativity, that was stupid of me. For once, I'm gonna be true to myself and post what I'm hoping for.
I'm hoping to connect with someone who's cute/pretty (yeah, I'm one of THOSE guys, but beauty is different for each person, for example, I find girls with oozing confidence pretty, so...).
About me:
About you:
Just DM me if you're interested. HAHAHAHA
submitted by MurasakiZetsubou to phr4r [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 02:35 jillloyo [SELL] [US] Makeup Rehab Sale Continues! Lots of New Items Added & Reduced Prices! Mix & Match with Skincare Sale! ♡

Thanks for checking out my sale! I'm trying hard for a low-buy and really trying to cut down on my back-ups + products that just didn't work for me. I added a bunch of new stuff this week & there will be lots more to come!
EYE SHADOW PALETTES & EYE PRIMER
FACE PALETTES
HIGHLIGHTERS & BLUSH
BRONZERS
FACE PRIMERS & SETTING SPRAYS
FOUNDATION
SETTING/LOOSE POWDERS
CONCEALERS
MASCARA
EYELINER
BROWS
LIPS
SETS / TOOLS / MISC.
FWP
Feel free to mix-and-match items from my SKINCARE SALE ♡ Thank you for reading this far! :)
submitted by jillloyo to makeupexchange [link] [comments]


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