Dating Greek mies

Ex now says to people that i called her a whore

2020.10.27 22:00 kyvros_gaming Ex now says to people that i called her a whore

Alright first of all i should have smelled this from a million miles away because because she is known among her friends as someone that plays with guys but I didn't know any better so I had my first actual kiss with her. One day she broke up with me for no reason at all (I later found out that two days after we broke up she was dating another guy so think she was cheating on me) and now she goes on spreading the word around my class and around the school that I called her a whore and several other names. Thankfully my friends didn't believe her and after her best friend told me about this (like 2 months ago) I started explaining to her that I have never said my ex a whore (she believed me too). Also whenever she walks next to me with her friends she starts talking to them about how awful I am.
(Also I'm Greek so I'm sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes in the text)
submitted by kyvros_gaming to teenagers [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 01:24 ThrowawayAlley-Oop I'm trying to pinpoint my type but 4, 5, and 6 all resonate on some level. I could use some help!

I've been trying to work out which type I am and I feel as though I've hit a wall. I'm leaning towards a 4, 5, or 6 (apparently this common so my apologizes to those tired of seeing this question).
Although certain aspects of type 4 resonate with me:
I don't care about being special and I'm not particularly creative.
I don't create any kind of art. In fact, I realized a few years back that although I love playing video games I don't actually want to make them. Turns out, I am not the man in the arena. I journal semi-regularly and every once in a blue moon catalog a dream, which yes, one could argue is creative writing. However, I do that to work through my thoughts not for artistic expression.
I am also, not frightened by or put-off by the mundane. Quite frankly, I hope that "average" is inevitable. Not everyone gets to be one in a million... that is literally the point the phrase expresses. I don't ache to feel special or to be noticed. If I ache for anything, it's to know what I want so I an get to work achieving it.

Which brings me to why I'm also leaning towards type 5:
But, I'm not an intense intellectual who has trouble articulating myself.
I would never describe myself as intense (unless you chose Tris over Yennifer or sided with Anders. If so, I have a thesis prepared and I doubt we can be friends. Aha I'm kiddin... but only a little.) Any social anxiety I feel is rooted in feeling like I may not be enough, not that I'm playing 3D chess when everyone else is playing checkers. There's actually quote from Socrates that I remember whenever I'm feeling particularly down about my run of the mill intelligence "The ancient Oracle said that I was the wisest of all the Greeks. It is because I alone, of all the Greeks, know that I know nothing." A quote I discovered in a video game. Because again, I'm not brooding intellectual out here reading the works of ancient Greek philosophers.

I don't feel as though have much in common with type 6 besides:

I know that the most important part of the any enneagram type is their core motivation. But I feel as though each of these type's basic fear and desire is intertwined for me. I want to have firm grasp on my identity (4) in order to feel capable and competent (5), thus securing safety and security (6).
So uh, any insight or advice would be appreciated.
submitted by ThrowawayAlley-Oop to Enneagram [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 00:55 Poeshie Persona Fan Project Idea

So I just wanted to share some ideas that I've created these past 4 years for a fan Persona game and see if anybody found it interesting. Although this is is mostly just a project for myself, I wanted to share just in case someone out there has criticisms or problems with it.
I'll start with the protagonists of the game. Yes, there's going to be more than one, twins to be precise. You can choose which one you'd like to live the story through, which will definitely change some of the experiences in the story, such as social links, general events, etc. These two are 16 years at the time of the story, just like most other persona protags, but they actually live in the U.S. initially. Due to their father passing though, they leave and live with their mother in Japan, along with her husband and son, their step-family (Their mother and father separated when they were young, the father taking main custody while they visited their mother every summer in Japan).
The school they will attend is based off of the ASIJ school in Chofu, Tokyo, which is an International school (An international school is a school that adopts another country's educational curriculum; ASIJ or American School in Japan is a school that adopts the American school system). So their will be a change in the game's school system, like not having a school outfit requirement for example. This is were the protags will meet most of the main cast, though some will be introduced outside of the school.
*Also another important factor, this sorry is actually going to take place over the course of two years. For story purposes and just a wanting of more character interaction.
Speaking of the main cast, it consists of the two protags, the mascot character (I'm planning on it being a fish ;D), and 8 other main cast characters, leaving a total of 11. All of these characters are capable of having a social link with the main protagonist, as well as being romanced no matter which protag you choose (this excludes the mascot character though because there ain't N O way I'm condoning dating fish I'm sorry). I could write about every main character here, but that would take hours so maybe some other time if y'all are interested.
Here are the main ideas for the respresentation behind the main character's shadows, personas and social links: regret, desire, and change. The way this will work for each character is similar to P4, whenever someone is dragged into the world in which shadows exist, it will create an extension of that person's biggest regret/desire, usually in the form of something familiar to that person. For example, one of the main character's has someone close to him die by suicide. He massively regrets not being there for his friend, and just wants him back. This will take form as his shadow, that being the friend that he lost. (Kinda messed up, right?) The personas will come after the person has come to accept what has happened in the past. Though the complete moving on from the past will likely be shown through social links with the main protags.
For now, the main sort of idea behind personas is drifting. For each game there was a sort of theme for every main characters persona, P3 being greek mythology, P4 being japanese mythology, and P5 being famous thieves (PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG). As of now I'm going with famous figures that suffer from regret. For example, the tale of La Llorona will be the inspiration behind one. (La Llorona or "the weeping woman" is hispanic folklore; long story short it's a woman who mourns her drowned children. There are multiple iterations of this story though, so I recommend looking it up if you're interested).
Although I haven't completely figured out the medium the world of shadows will exist through (I was thinking something technologocial as the color theme will be green), I do know that I want to include the Amanojaku. This is a mythological figure usually represented by a small Oni that is able to provoke someone's deepest desires, which fits in with the representations behind the shadows (Again, the iterations could change). I was thinking that this would be the creature that took people into that world, but I still need to work or specifically how it is going to work.
The Velvet Room is going to be based off of a casino this time around. This is to go along with the regret, desire and change themes, as casinos usually come along with that. I was thinking about involving a gambling system when fusing personas, but it's only an optional things. I still have to work this idea out too, but I just know it's going to be based off of the gambling game 'Roulette'.
Before anything else though, I want to restate that this is just a personal project. It's nothing official, just something that I wanted to create as a "love-letter" to he persona series, and things I wish I could have seen in a persona game myself.
I know this ambitious, don't worry. I can't draw, compose music, create full on stories, code: it's going to be a process. I'm currently working on these skills so if anything it'll probably be a good decade before I can actually do anything with these ideas.
That's it for now! Sorry if this is vague, I just want to GAURD some of my ideas. Not that they are absolutely game-changing or anything, it's either just specifics or things that I'd rather not have other people see until I'm ready.
Thank you so much if you read through all of this! Please let me know if you have anything to say about this idea at all.
submitted by Poeshie to PERSoNA [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 18:29 jodeeodeo Aita for not involving my future Mil in choosing my wedding dress?

Here is my wedding dress if anyone is wondering what it is. This isn't me, but a photo from the website I bought it from. I do have the dress and have tried it on.
So about a month ago (or so it feels like), my fiance proposed to me. We have nearly been dating for 2 years. He proposed to me through our favorite game.
Shortly after, as in a matter of days from a website that had good reviews an made for plus size woman. My fiance an I had talked about marriage for some time. When we did start talking about getting married, I looked at dresses. The one in the photo was the one I adore an love. I can see myself in it. Even my mom thought I'd be beautiful in it.
So when he finally proposed, I got it. I even payed to have it here quickly (these dresses are pre-made. Not made to order.) I got my dress a couple days ago.
So shortly after I got my dress, my mom had me try it on. It was a little lose, but I bought it that way so it wasn't to tight on me an I could have it tailored. But it was exactly like the photo, and I love it. My mom took some photos so I could show it to my brides maids an future mil an my guy bff. I did not show my fiance.
They all loved it, except for mil. She wanted to help me find a dress, in like an actual dress store. I told her that wouldn't be possible with covid rn. An plus this dress was what I wanted. She didn't like it because it was nontraditional. She wants a Christian wedding, while my fiance an I don't. We want a Greek style at a beach. Both my fiance an I aren't Christian, nor is a bunch of my family. My fiance an I are both Helenicpolytheistic (belief in Greek gods and goddesses) while my side of the family believe in all sorts.
I tell Mil that we dont plan to do a Christian wedding, as I don't have family that are Christians. It was my fiance's idea to not have a Christian wedding even. We haven't done much planning yet due to covid and family at risk for both of us. She hangs up the phone.
Now starting yesterday, shes been texting me photos of wedding dresses she wants me to wear and saying I owe it to her because we didn't go dress shopping.
Now I feel bad that I didn't involve her in the dress shopping... now im considering just buying a 2nd dress to place her, the one I want to wear for reception and the one she wants for ceremony.
Aita for not involving her for finding my wedding dress?
Edit: thank you for all your comments. I have talked to my fiance about this, an stated 'its your dress, if you feel beautiful in it, then wear it. I havent seen u in it but im sure you will be beautiful. ' he doesn't really talk to his mother much due the abuse put him through, as his 'stepdad ' (not his real father but father figure. His mother was married in the past but divorced. An is just dating this dude) would punish him for stupid reasons, like not fixing lights outside due to my fiance's fear of heights and his mother never standing up for my fiance. She does support my fiance but when it comes to my fiance an his step-dad fighting, shes always on step-dad side to stop the arguing.
So after he moved out, he went low contact. We did plan to invite his mother to the wedding, hense why I sent her the photo of my dress.
I will be awnsering questions in the comments, just been busy with work. I posted this during my break but im now off work
Edit 2: thank you for all the sweet comments about the dress. I didnt really expect this post to go crazy like it did, just a few comments was what inwas expecting. A few other things to clear up as well.
I don't really talk to his mother. Last time either of us talked to her was when we called an told her we were engaged. We hung up shortly after. She was last person we told before posting our engagement on social media.
submitted by jodeeodeo to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 02:10 chattington_bear 41 [M4F] USA: Take Two. Looking To Meet Interesting People From All Over The World And Perhaps Find One That Thinks I Am Interesting As Well

So I posted one of these a couple months ago. Got a few cool conversations from it but eventually they all fizzled out. But it's all good. No stress there at all. If any of this was easy, there wouldn't really be a need for subreddits like this or dating sites! Nonetheless, I decided I'd try again and see what came of it.
As the title says, I am a 41 year old man. I live in the western United States. Brown hair, blue eyes. 5'7" (1.7m) tall. Childless and never married. Depending on the day and whether I have been good about what I am eating, 175-180 pounds (79-81kgs). I mostly eat healthy and do exercise regularly but I unfortunately have a very large sweet tooth which can get me into trouble sometimes. And my weakness is pretty much anything made by Reese's. Chocolate and Peanut Butter together is the divine ambrosia for me. Sadly, unlike the mythical Greek ambrosia, that combination eaten in the quantities I would like to eat them in won't do much to help with either my longevity or immortality. So alas I do my best to eat them in moderation!
I currently work at a job where I do not use any of my college degrees (BAs in Film and History Teaching, M.Ed in Education) but I enjoy the people I work with and would not feel like I was wasting my life if I were to make it my career. I was a teacher for 4 years (2 in the US, 2 in Japan) and ultimately decided that career field was not for me. The stress was really beginning to affect my physical and mental health. My current position is pretty stress free but still allows me to use some of the skills I picked up as a teacher such as analyzing data and being all teacher-like when I train new employees in the department I manage. Plus I feel appreciated for the work I do. And most importantly, I don't have to worry about the parents of my employees going to my manager to get me fired because I didn't give them a perfect quarterly evaluation! I do miss having the summers off though. The main reason is...
I enjoy traveling. I have been to 18 different countries and the plan this year was to get that number up to 21. But, you know, COVID. So in this time of not being able to leave the country, I have tried to feed that urge to travel while being as safe and responsible as possible. As such, I have done a lot of traveling inside of my state and neighboring states seeing various National and State Parks. With this, I have also taken up hiking. And from what I can tell, am one of the few people in this country that actually hikes wearing a mask. And that's why, kids, we as Americans are banned from going anywhere!
I also enjoy photography. This hobby really goes hand-in-hand with my love for travel. It's probably cliché as hell, but I like going to those areas in the places I travel that EVERYBODY takes pictures of and taking my own. As such, I have such overplayed pictures such as the Seattle skyline from Kerry Park, The Sydney Opera House from Mrs. Macquarie's Point, and Taipei 101 from Elephant Mountain hanging on my wall.
OK, on to who I might find a connection with. I honestly am not looking for any particular geographic location in which to meet people. The way I see it, it's a big world we live in (although technology is making is smaller) and it seems limiting to only search in a small portion of it. So I would be happy meeting people from all corners of the Earth. Age, like geography, is also fairly broad. I will put 30-45 but it's honestly not a huge deal breaker if we get along. In terms of issues such as kids, I wouldn't say 100% no. More like 99.9% no. Really, everything else about the situation would have to be perfect before it would be something I could even begin to think about. I am a failed teacher. I understand my limitations as it pertains to kids. It would likely end up being a large source of frustration for me and, in turn, the child(ren).
And finally, where I somewhat struggle in this whole meeting people game is that I am not much of a talker and often struggle thinking of anything to say conversations. Many times during my last try at this I would find myself staring blankly at my screen for long periods of time and not knowing what to respond with. In person, I am definitely much more of a listener than a speaker. With that being said, once a level of comfort has been reached, conversations do become easier for me. I guess ideally I would like to meet somebody for whom this would not be an issue.
I am not sure what else to write in this introduction. By all means, if you have any questions, comments, or interesting anecdotes, please feel free to send me a DM. Please feel free to ask for a picture but if you do, I would hope you would send one as well. It seems only fair. I look forward to hearing from you!
submitted by chattington_bear to R4R40Plus [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 02:04 chattington_bear 41 [M4F] USA: Take Two. Looking To Meet Interesting People From All Over The World And Perhaps Find One That Thinks I Am Interesting As Well

So I posted one of these a couple months ago. Got a few cool conversations from it but eventually they all fizzled out. But it's all good. No stress there at all. If any of this was easy, there wouldn't really be a need for subreddits like this or dating sites! Nonetheless, I decided I'd try again and see what came of it.
As the title says, I am a 41 year old man. I live in the western United States. Brown hair, blue eyes. 5'7" (1.7m) tall. Childless and never married. Depending on the day and whether I have been good about what I am eating, 175-180 pounds (79-81kgs). I mostly eat healthy and do exercise regularly but I unfortunately have a very large sweet tooth which can get me into trouble sometimes. And my weakness is pretty much anything made by Reese's. Chocolate and Peanut Butter together is the divine ambrosia for me. Sadly, unlike the mythical Greek ambrosia, that combination eaten in the quantities I would like to eat them in won't do much to help with either my longevity or immortality. So alas I do my best to eat them in moderation!
I currently work at a job where I do not use any of my college degrees (BAs in Film and History Teaching, M.Ed in Education) but I enjoy the people I work with and would not feel like I was wasting my life if I were to make it my career. I was a teacher for 4 years (2 in the US, 2 in Japan) and ultimately decided that career field was not for me. The stress was really beginning to affect my physical and mental health. My current position is pretty stress free but still allows me to use some of the skills I picked up as a teacher such as analyzing data and being all teacher-like when I train new employees in the department I manage. Plus I feel appreciated for the work I do. And most importantly, I don't have to worry about the parents of my employees going to my manager to get me fired because I didn't give them a perfect quarterly evaluation! I do miss having the summers off though. The main reason is...
I enjoy traveling. I have been to 18 different countries and the plan this year was to get that number up to 21. But, you know, COVID. So in this time of not being able to leave the country, I have tried to feed that urge to travel while being as safe and responsible as possible. As such, I have done a lot of traveling inside of my state and neighboring states seeing various National and State Parks. With this, I have also taken up hiking. And from what I can tell, am one of the few people in this country that actually hikes wearing a mask. And that's why, kids, we as Americans are banned from going anywhere!
I also enjoy photography. This hobby really goes hand-in-hand with my love for travel. It's probably cliché as hell, but I like going to those areas in the places I travel that EVERYBODY takes pictures of and taking my own. As such, I have such overplayed pictures such as the Seattle skyline from Kerry Park, The Sydney Opera House from Mrs. Macquarie's Point, and Taipei 101 from Elephant Mountain hanging on my wall.
OK, on to who I might find a connection with. I honestly am not looking for any particular geographic location in which to meet people. The way I see it, it's a big world we live in (although technology is making is smaller) and it seems limiting to only search in a small portion of it. So I would be happy meeting people from all corners of the Earth. Age, like geography, is also fairly broad. I will put 30-45 but it's honestly not a huge deal breaker if we get along. In terms of issues such as kids, I wouldn't say 100% no. More like 99.9% no. Really, everything else about the situation would have to be perfect before it would be something I could even begin to think about. I am a failed teacher. I understand my limitations as it pertains to kids. It would likely end up being a large source of frustration for me and, in turn, the child(ren).
And finally, where I somewhat struggle in this whole meeting people game is that I am not much of a talker and often struggle thinking of anything to say conversations. Many times during my last try at this I would find myself staring blankly at my screen for long periods of time and not knowing what to respond with. In person, I am definitely much more of a listener than a speaker. With that being said, once a level of comfort has been reached, conversations do become easier for me. I guess ideally I would like to meet somebody for whom this would not be an issue.
I am not sure what else to write in this introduction. By all means, if you have any questions, comments, or interesting anecdotes, please feel free to send me a DM. Please feel free to ask for a picture but if you do, I would hope you would send one as well. It seems only fair. I look forward to hearing from you!
submitted by chattington_bear to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 23:56 IhibHyt Trying to hide myself and cope with shame and fear can be hard sometimes. Nothing important, just ranting

Nothing important just need a place to rant. Kind of long, I have a lot of repressed emotions.
I've been exploring my true self for a while now. I am not romantically attracted to women but I am still terrified every time I picture my family's possible reaction if one day they find out about all those non-straight contents I have on my phone and in my art work. I've tried to stop thinking and focus on the good side of my life, but I often fail to do that. It often stuck in my mind. I don't plan to come out until I am completely financially independent, I've dated some men, my family assume I am straight. So I am not in the risk of being doubted by them.
But still, the more I discover myself the more I feel happy, alongside with shame and fear. Every time I look at my phone, all the great non-straight stuffs, I feel happy but also big shame and fear. I know I shouldn't, my mind keep jumping back and forth from "there s nothing wrong with not being straight" to "this is abnormal and shameful" "my parents will beat me and insult me for this".
When I was a teenager (before I knew about my true self, I was just an ally who once was kinda homophobic), I've had some non-straight related conversations with my parents and their reaction were not great. Those conversation were not even about myself. So I can't image if one day such conversation is about me being bi, what would their reaction be.
I know I am still lucky compare to lots of other queer people's situations. My country is homophobic still but at least gay sex and relationships are legal, gay conversion therapy is banned (although some "hospitals" secretly have them and advertise them to parents), there's no gay marriage or civil partnerships but some laws provide similar rights for people without "marriage and children". Non-straight contents (and bunch of other things such as hookup sex, affairs, premarital sex, teenagers dating, getting married but don't want children) can not appear on television, movies, shows, but you can find these things online. And I am very happy that religion isn't big here, people don't curse on gay people with"u'll burn in hell!". Younger generation don't have strong homophobia force. But still there are anti-gays groups that harass and hurt gay people.
My biggest fear and shame come from family. I worry about being harassed by anti-gay groups too---not just for myself, my lgbtq+ friends as well. But a stranger's threaten or insults doesn't scar me too bad, what's really hurtful is if my parents turn against me one day. I don't see myself dating women at least for now, but I also have very low desire for marriage and kids. I also don't think my "the one" would always be a man --- what if one day I actually marry a man, then years later our love ended and I meet a woman then fall in love with her? Should I keep my true self a secret to my family my whole life? Everything is possible. Even if my one indeed is a man, my sexual attraction to women won't go away. I also don't wanna lose my queer friends. One of my closest friend is lesbian, and my parent has already asked me if she has a crush on me -- which she doesn't, she is happy with a gf; but we both cherish our great friendship. And I worry, if one day they find out I am bisexual, they will blame this on "because u hang out with gays!" and try to stop me from seeing them.
I know I shouldn't be ashamed of being not straight. There are lots of scientific researches that prove gay/bi/pan actions are common in mother nature. In lots of ancient cultures, including my country, such as ancient Greek and Rome, Japan and China, gay sex and relationship were common and accepted. It wasn't until a century ago my country became homophobic because we adopted western values and culture. Lots of emperors, warriors, generals, academics, writers, artists...were gay or bi. So I know I shouldn't be ashamed of being not straight, homosexuality isn't invented, homophobia is invented by a small group of humans then spread to the whole world.
But still, coping with fear and shame can be hard sometimes. I've watched some "coming out to our parents" videos. When some of the parents started yelling at their kids with the worst insults, my heart felt pain, fear, shame, guilt, even though they are not even my parents. Sometimes I just can't stop feeling shameful and scared while trying to enjoy some great queer stuffs.
Talking with friends and ranting help a lot. I am very happy that my close friends are supportive allies and we have each other's back. Now I am done with ranting, I feel a bit better.
submitted by IhibHyt to bisexual [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 22:51 xyz9100 I just spent the last 5 hours just going through other peoples Instagram's from college

I've been horribly depressed since graduation in may 2018. broke up with my gf of 2 years at the time. got a shit job right after college in the middle of nowhere. During that time, still depressed about the break up have been feeling nothing but regret of missing out on a lot of college experiences : Rushing a fraternity, new friendships, social/Greek events, wild fraternity parties where hundreds of random girls show up, and dancing and getting laid with women.
I quit my shitty job after 3 months moved back with my parents. Became a stoner to suppress the sadness. Didn't try out on dates. Became more anxious and insecure about my sex life and body count. Got a good job in november'18 and thought it would be smart to live with them for a year to save up and potentially buy a house. Job turned me into bit of a workaholic and was still a stoner. Was not having fun and when i did was not enjoying it. Depressed and saw a therapist for a bit then stopped when it became 2020. Pandemic hasn't been helping because has put things I wanna do to make up for what i missed on delay.
I've felt extremely depressed since May. Was smoking even more with WFH and not even enjoying it anymore. Made me so anxious. Stopping briefly also made me anxious because I thought about how much time I've wasted being a stoner.
It is now October. I am 24yo and in Jan will be 25. I have not smoked for about 2 months. However : My job has been shit the last few months. I'm seeing a therapist again. Psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression (again) and add. On heavy meds. Still living with my parents. Haven't been looking for a house because thinking of looking for another job. Haven't looked for another job because work has been burning me out. Started dating again however about 4 weeks ago (before meds) I suddenly lost my libido and all arousal. I don't get aroused looking at girls or feel horney anymore. A girl came over to my place. First time in 18 months i was going to have sex and i can't get an erection. fml. just my luck and what depressed guy needs right? Don't even want to go on dating apps currently because I feel no arousal still. I am trying to get my body count up because of insecurity and this happens. More fucking delay.
Now I've cycled back into looking at peoples Instagram's for hours and looking at like TFM insta pages and collegesluts subreddit just thinking of how much I've missed out on. How naïve i was when i was younger. Wishing i had rushed. Wishing i did all these things i mentioned earlier before getting into a happy relationship in junior year. I think how all my friends from high school i still hang out with were in frats. 3 of them were engineers as well and they were in frats and boy did they have fun.
I was so naïve to not rush. I thought "I had enough friends and partied enough in high school" boy was i wrong and it didn't even compare. Everyone i went to high school with went to the same instate college as me and joined Greek life. And boy were the parties more than i ever expected to be and i will never get to experience that. I wish I could've been to just one. All i can do is imagine the events/girls that go on inside those fraternity houses.
And now i am typing out something maybe 1-2 strangers will see pitying myself and making myself feel down and not in the mood to look for jobs because i want to cry right now. I don't want to die, but hard not to give up and do things and enjoy things and look forward. I keep looking back and can't seem to stop from doing it. I know those opportunities I'm talking about are long past my time and I accept that but its sad to accept it.
submitted by xyz9100 to depression [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 18:27 laurabt1 Ew, I keep dreaming of that man AND choosing him

Guy A treated me badly with his imaturity, rejected me long ago and started a relationship with a girl who seemed to be to him everything I wasn't. I felt lonely and jealous. Just to make it more ironic, I've never talked to her, but she's my acquaintance. She was also the recent ex of the guy I started dating and didn't last with for lack of passion in both sides.
Anyway. It made me jealous and messed with me. Maybe that's why. But it should be gone.
Months ago, I dreamed that I had both my ex and this guy at my feet. I chose this guy. He wasn't him at my dream because he rejected me in real life. He was more like I wish he were.
I thought: "what a cute possessive, frustrated and controlling little dream."
It was july and I was still getting over everything.
I forgot most of that pain (I think.) I'm still mad about it, to be completely honest, but I've decided it's unhealthy, I'm the only person who gets hurt by my jealousy and I needed to move on.
I approached a friend I was always interested on and he seemed like a good, mature person.
He is. He's interested on me and after a few months I fell for him like a sitting duck. We can't see each other due to quarantine.
He does two things that frustrate me a bit because no one is perfect:
1 - Our relationship is in a limbo because he doesn't see how he could love me back via messages. We'll find out in person.
2 - He spends days offline and I miss him.
About the dream:
It was detailed while I was dreaming and blurred once I woke up. I just know both my current love interest and the guy who rejected me over a year ago were there, after me.
On a decision that involved me being the Oracle of Delphi (weird, right? I'm a Greek mythology fan), I rejected the guy I'm in love with in favor of Guy A.
I woke up nastied by it.
It was fine in july, but now I was supposed to be over it.
I don't even think I had him in mind.
submitted by laurabt1 to Dreams [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 16:15 pikappfangirl Advice appreciated (TLDR at bottom)

Let me start by saying I love this subreddit and it’s so nice to know that there are other people out there going through the same thing as me. So I am a 21 year old male with HH of the hands, arm pits and feet but my main insecurity my entire life has been the sweaty hands. I am currently a senior in college and I have never dated (or even really tried to date) anyone due to the fact that I am too nervous to have to explain my condition to a significant other. There have been a few times in the past when I go to a Greek event dance with a date and as soon as our hands touch to swing dance, immediate discomfort from both parties and honestly always feel bad for putting them through this. As a result I’ve stopped attending our fraternity events for the past 3 years. On top of this, I don’t want to get too racy, but relationships involve a lot of touching which is an aspect of dating I’m super anxious about for obvious reasons. I guess my question is really for people with (extreme) HH of the hands who have dated or married and how y’all navigated the waters on discussing the condition for the very first time with your romantic interest (did you bring it up closer to when y’all first met or was it brought up after holding hands for the first time), how they took it, and how y’all have since worked through the situation together. Sorry for draining on but I felt like some backstory was necessary for contextual purposes. Would really love to hear from some people who have already been through this just so I can mentally prepare for it and hopefully feel more comfortable romantically pursuing people. Thank you so much for your time!
TLDR- I’m a college student with extremely sweaty hands 20/24 hrs in the day and I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to the first hand contact with a romantic interest as well as what HH looks like within a relationship. Would love some advice from people who have already been through it before. Thanks!
submitted by pikappfangirl to Hyperhidrosis [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 00:29 RavenIllusion I Love Our Older Generation

I have posted about an older repeat caller before, I have not heard from her in a while, but the pandemic has brought out some lonely hearts tired of having no one to talk with her. As I wind down my call center career, since I finally got a non-call center job, I treasure these wholesome diversions to getting yelled at about Lysol Wipes in my preferred field.
*I am still on this call while writing this, but this is not she said, I said type of convo since I haven’t said much.
📷 The call started with her asking if I needed any recipes from her Greek Cookbook that she translated into English.
📷 I have the same name as her EXDIL, almost Miss Illinois, but divorced her son and took him for $50k; she thinks this woman was a secret lawyer because she knew what she was doing.
📷 Descriptions of the birth of each of her children.
📷 Her work history
📷 How she came here from Greece
📷 Her parents, and other family histories.
📷 13 minutes into the call, she is has given me 3 recipes, even though I told her 3x that I didn’t need them.
📷 Double checked that I was a Miss and was never married, and then said that means I am a virgin (LOL!!) and would need to know the info about childbirth when I snag a husband (I am not really attracted to men).
📷 Another recipe, Halva, this time.
📷 She talked about her husband but didn’t sound like she was too fond of him.
📷 More info on her son and the young lade he is dating, who already has a kid, so must immoral.
📷 In detail, her church history (not sure of what she said, I tend to zone out when it comes to religion).
📷 The call is still happening, but she is on a recipe loop, 4th recipe for Halva.
📷 I have several times tried to steer to what she wanted from me, but I am pretty sure at this point, she is just lonely and longs to hear another human voice. It is these calls that I will miss when I am gone. I have a fondness for older, hell my current partner is 55, which is young for me. I will be on this one for a while, but she is on a loop right now.
Edit: Fixed it, $50k, not $50.
submitted by RavenIllusion to talesfromcallcenters [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 00:18 NordikIdealist I no longer even try to socialize or have a relationship

I will try to be clear, as much as I can. Also this will be long ass post but this will be my final cry out. So any of you have a time to read this, you're welcome to read it. Also not looking for advice or anything. My only concern is to be understood and fix my way of thinking. Nothing more, nothing less.

Firstly, I should say that I'm not an incel and/or nice guy in sense of the common stereotype (as in resentment, misogyny, misanthropy, self-pity and self-loathing, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active people ). I've been called like nice guy or dropped my fedora... I'll explain everything in my point of view:

I'm in my 20s and living in Turkey. I was and probably still am extremely naive person. I was socially awkward back in middle school. In here 6th-7th and 8th grade are middle school and I fell in love with my close friend in 6th grade. When she said no I was fucked up. As I said, I was naive. Back in that days I was way more naive. I had no clue about relationships back then. I thought that would lead to marriage after some years. After the rejection I was devastated, I became more socially awkward. I remember my friends who weren't naive like me would see how I react to things and they would make fun of me. Even the girl I was "in love" would sometimes used me because it was easy to trick me since I'd believe anyone. Until middle school finished I haven't made any attempts to have girlfriend since I convinced myself that I was in love and this was the love of my life. Again, in my defense I didn't know anything else beside husband-wife. No flirting, anything.

High school was about the same. Still spent my time as rather socially awkward kid. Again, I fell in love 1-2 times with pure intentions (wasn't even thinking about sex). At the end of the high school I started to learn that I do not have to marry with my first girlfriend. What an enlightenment! But it was too late. After high school finished I moved to Greece for studying in university. I missed the application deadline due to delays in paperwork. I decided to apply next year. Long story short: I lived in a place where I don't know their language for 9 months, alone. Since I wasn't enrolled to school, I had no place to go on regular basis. I couldn't make friends. I was basically living like I was in quarantine. After 9 months, I couldn't bear to that agony and came back to my hometown. I spend 1 year at home studying for university entrance exams.

After exams I had to go to a small, conservative city. People and other students weren't open for a talk. I had 4 friends there and we only knew each other. Almost every student had a social network like ours. You would have few friends but you wouldn't know anyone else. It's too hard to expand your social network. I tried so hard. I even went to big cities near me regularly. I couldn't made any friends because I was "far away".

Now I graduated from university. Came back home. But the thing is I feel so much empty. I haven't lived my youth fully. There was always something that I missed. Still, never had a girlfriend. I wouldn't mind this before but after some time I strongly feel it's absence. Haven't had sex too. I feel it's absence too. I'm now in a point that I don't which I should go after. I didn't learn how to talk with girls, now it's harder. I have no experience in human interactions. I don't know anything. I'm not also a handsome and/or wealthy and/or have fit body.

I've a close friend. He's not rich and he has average body but is handsome compared to average men here. I also know how to talk to girls so he can both have a good relationship and a healthy sex life whenever he wants. My close friend have a friend from different circle. He told me that since this guy has a body like Greek Gods, girls around him just chasing him. Even though his relationship life isn't the best, he has an more than amazing sex life.

I on the other hand got nothing. I'm not absurdly handsome, I don't have a fit body or long height, don't know how to talk with anyone actually. I was on dating apps. I don't know how many times I cried after an unmatch or how many times I deleted my account since I was getting zero match. Girls looking for hookup doesn't consider me, girls looking for relationship doesn't consider me. Can't get my self-esteem high. It's all time low. Last week I messaged a girl who was looking for one night stand. We agreed but she canceled it day before. Day after we supposed to meet she changed her profile's looking for section from hookups to new friends and we haven't speak since.

I never acted like a misogynist and have an entitlement to sex or anything. I don't think I'm an incel. I'm just a victim of my own inexperience in life. Been judged as nice guy many times. But maybe people are right. But 6 years of lonely life is not easy. Although I tried many times, I was not able to hold onto social life. Have some friendships/relationships. I couldn't do it. After this age it's way harder. If I really am an incel I should stop interacting with people and keep continue my lonely life.

I just can't take this anymore. I really tried but failed. Gonna close my all accounts except here. I won't try socializing. No one wants or needs to deal with my bullshit. You might think I overthink this but what else there is to do? Wish things were different. I'm gonna sleep now. As I said, not looking for advice. Since there is no one around me to listen this I decided to write.
submitted by NordikIdealist to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2020.10.23 00:40 jqb6 Wish I could get over this guy.

I met this guy at my university all the way back in August. When we first met we both got along really well and spent some quality time together. Then, the virus spread through our campus and the university kicked us out. I live 850 miles or so away from him, so obviously the distance was going to separate us a little bit, but now I don’t even think he wants to be friends with me.
I always text him first. I stopped texting him two days ago, and we’ll see if he actually cares about me or not, but I suspect that this will be the end of our friendship. I couldn’t keep carrying the conversation, I couldn’t keep putting in all the effort. I tried to be honest with him about how I feel and he just seems to glance over it.
I’m just so pissed off about the whole thing, because he said he had feelings for me, and had the Greeks fucking behaved themselves (asking for a lot, I know), we might actually be dating now, or at the very least we’d still be friends. But none of that will ever happen. I’ve lost a friend I worked so hard to get, my first real friend in about five years, and it’s just so hard to move on from him but I know that it’s what I have to do. I just wish he’d tell me he doesn’t want to be friends anymore so I can move on and stop wasting my time without looking like an asshole.
submitted by jqb6 to gay [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 02:55 Mama_Goye Full Vaginal Botox surgery experience- Detailed!

Yes, this is very long! But I wanted to share my full experience because reading something like this would have been helpful to me before the surgery. Feel free to ask any questions. I would be happy to help. I had this procedure done at Maze Women's Health in Purchase, NY.
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I (31) have been struggling with vaginismus for as long as I remember, and I think my experiences echo what a lot of women on this subreddit have gone through. When I was in high school, I tried inserting a tampon and didn’t understand why it didn’t work. In college, I began dating more, and my first sexual experience ended quite badly. My boyfriend at the time tried inserting his finger, causing excruciating pain. He broke up with me the next day. A string of boyfriends over the next 10 years varied in their compassion for my issue, but it was always a major problem in the relationship, and one of the reasons my only long-term boyfriend decided to end it.
The first gynecologist that I visited yelled at me and told me that I wasn’t trying hard enough. If it wasn’t so traumatizing, it would have been comically cliche. She immediately recommended surgery (I’m assuming an hymenectomy) and wanted to schedule me that day. I absolutely left. A few years later, I tried another gyno and they were much kinder. I had three people in the room trying to keep me calm as they attempted to examine me. At this point, I had done some research and was pretty sure that I had vaginismus. They couldn’t finish, even with the smallest speculum. I was screaming and crying in pain. They recommended that I purchase a dilator kit from vaginismus.com. I remember that it cost $200 at the time, but I bought it anyway. When it arrived, however, I ended up using it only a few times. The pain was unbearable, and I absolutely hated it. I was single and very busy with a new career, so I didn’t bother with it. Fast forward a few years to my current relationship with my now-fiance, I was getting desperate. I wasn’t sure if he’d want to marry me if we couldn’t have sex, and I knew we both wanted kids someday.
I want to preface my botox experience by saying that the most difficult part of this whole journey was dealing with finding the right office and trying to figure out insurance. I am fortunate that I have summers off because there were days that I was on the phone for hours and hours, going back and forth between different doctor’s offices, surgeons, insurance, etc. It was a nightmare. If you’re looking for a place that offers it, start early. I live in PA and called every gynecologist and women’s center I could find. Most that I called had never heard of vaginismus, let alone vaginal botox surgery. After speaking with my own gynecologist again, I agreed to meet with a urologist whom they thought might be able to help me. I got there and the nurse had never heard of vaginismus. The doctor seemed aware, especially when after he tried to examine me, I burst into tears. After describing the surgery to him, he said that he regularly performs botox surgery on the bladder, so he could do it. But I was the one who had to explain the vaginal botox to him, so it ultimately didn’t inspire confidence.
I did some more research online, and I decided that an office in New York (MAZE women’s health) was the closest place I could find. They also had stunning reviews, and I felt much more confident going somewhere experienced in this kind of condition. I reached out to them about a year ahead of time to learn more. I wanted to do this in the summer, so I waited until this year to actually have it done. I first spoke with insurance in September of last year, and it took until May of this year to actually get mostly clear answers from them. Long story short, most insurance doesn’t vaginal botox surgery. But they also couldn’t tell me for certain without pre-op letters, surgery codes, etc. My insurance kept losing information, would tell me to wait 30 days for a response, then the whole process started all over again. It was awful. In the end, they told me that insurance would cover 80% of what they deemed reasonable. Three months after the surgery, I’m still waiting on some kind of reimbursement.
In the spring, I scheduled my surgery for July. I did this as soon as they reopened their office due to COVID. They only do the botox surgery one Monday of each month, and July was the only month that I could do it. With my reservation, I needed to pay $200 for a zoom consultation. This was with a nurse and a sex therapist, making sure that this procedure was right for me. I had also filled out a lot of forms at this point. I kept in close communication with the nurse and office in the weeks leading up to the surgery. There was a long list of medications I could not take 2 weeks prior. A few weeks before, $2000 was due. Then just before the surgery, the remainder was due, totaling $6450. This was all out of pocket.
The office requires you to be in the area the day before the surgery, so we drove up Sunday afternoon and stayed at a nearby hotel. I needed to refrain from most medications and could not eat or drink at a certain point in the evening.
I had to arrive 1 hour prior to the surgery time. Once I checked in, I spoke in a room with a nurse to go over details of the procedure and sign forms. After that, I was led to another room where I undressed and put on a gown and thick socks. The doctor performing the surgery spoke with me to make sure I understood the procedure and to answer any questions. They were performing an hymenectomy at the same time, so I received more information about that. Finally, I was taken to the operating room. They laid me in a chair and gave me a sedative via an IV needle. I don’t remember falling asleep- it happened pretty quickly.
**Warning: a bit graphic**
When I woke up I remember thinking that I was already dressed because I could feel something around my ankles. When I came to more fully, I realized it was an adult diaper. They showed me the largest dilator (pink) in their kit, lubed it up, then slid it inside me. I didn’t feel it at all. Then they put the 3rd largest size (blue) in me and helped me to my feet then they let me go to the bathroom. I don’t think I’ve ever bled so much at once in my life. I was dropping clots and blood was streaming out of me. I was told bleeding was normal, but I wasn’t prepared for the sheer quantity. The giant diaper suddenly made sense. I waddled out of the bathroom and found a nurse waiting for me. They gave me a bag with the dilator kit (Pure Romance) and some information then led me to the waiting room for my fiance to take me back to the hotel.
I hadn’t eaten in 12 hours, so we drove around trying to find something to eat. The nurses told me to eat plain food like soup, but we couldn’t find any place nearby that had anything like that at all. The pandemic of course made finding food more difficult. My fiance parked to get Greek food for me. I wasn’t able to sit up straight in the car. I laid down and had intense discomfort in my abdomen. It felt like I was straining to hold a very full bladder. I later realized that I was bleeding heavily, and the blood, plugged up by the dilator, was filling up inside me. The second I got to the hotel room I ran to the toilet and once again, released a huge amount of blood and clots. I stayed on the toilet for a good 30-45 minutes just letting myself bleed. I was a mess so I got right in the shower. Once I was clean, I had to insert the blue dilator back in. I was instructed to leave it in for the first 24 hours if I could handle it. I left that bathroom looking like a crime scene. I am so lucky that my fiance cleaned up everything for me.
After eating lunch, I realized that I ate food that was too rich. I stood up and nearly passed out. But after lying down for about 30 minutes, I was fine.
I stayed in the hotel room resting the rest of the night. I took the dilator out every time I needed to use the bathroom. The bleeding was still pretty heavy but not nearly as bad as the first 2 times.
The next day, I had a follow-up appointment. I went back to the office to speak with the sex therapist about attempting intercourse and the nurse examined me. She wanted me to try inserting the 2nd biggest dilator (purple), but it was too painful, and I stuck with the blue instead. The nurse also talked more about the dilator kit and recommended additional products, including a larger dilator because unfortunately, my fiance is bigger than the biggest.
We drove right home. Sitting so long was unpleasant considering we had a 3.5-hour drive, but it was bearable. I felt mostly fine when I got home, just tired and sore.
The nurse instructed me to sleep with a dilator in me for at least every other night for at least 2 weeks. I also needed to dilate every day. I stuck to this pretty religiously. It was most difficult in the beginning. I soon realized that the bleeding was due to the cuts on my hymen. Every time I took the dilator in or out, it reopened the cuts and bled again. And it definitely felt like it. Even so, the pain was incomparable to any previous attempts at dilatation. Once it was in, it was fine. And any notable bleeding stopped after about a week. I stuck to blue for about a week, then transitioned to the next size. I kept blue in for about 30 minutes then immediately put purple in. I felt the stretching, tearing, and bleeding. The pain was bad, but again, manageable. After a week I began putting purple in on its own. Then I repeated those same steps when I transitioned to pink, the largest size. It took me longer to move on to pink by itself. Thankfully, by that point, I had healed and was no longer bleeding at all.
About a month after surgery, I had a zoom follow-up appointment with Maze, checking in on my progress and answering any questions I may have.
I was very nervous to graduate to penetration. I attempted to find larger silicone dilators but to no avail. I wasn’t interested in just buying a dildo, but I could have. I didn’t want to associate something phallic with so much pain. Instead, I decided to go straight to sex. This was about 2 months after surgery. I dilated for about 30 minutes with pink before we attempted. Because he’s a little larger than pink, it felt the same as when I moved up a dilator size- intense burning and painful stretching. But it went in! I couldn’t believe it actually went in!
And this is where I am now. I’ve had sex 3 times since. It does become a little less painful each time, but it’s still painful and uncomfortable. Maze reached out to me this week for a follow-up and told me that I will need to purchase a larger dilator or else sex will continue to be painful. Though there is a charge for speaking with the sex therapist again, I have free access to Maze’s online forum and portal to speak with the nurse.
TLDR; The botox vaginal surgery was expensive but worth it because it actually worked. I made more progress than I ever dreamed possible. I’m no longer a 30-something virgin. Woo!
submitted by Mama_Goye to vaginismus [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 04:44 Aurreum I just wanna get this out there

Moderate term lurker. Don't think I've seen a post here that didn't resonate with me to some degree. I figure I figure confession is good for the soul and this sub is a resource and a community I could use about now. Buckle up, it'll be a long one.

I (M23) broke up with my girlfriend (F23) over text about two months ago after a 5 year relationship. We started going out just after high school. We were the only people each other had dated. She was there for me and pressed me into overcoming various anxieties and supported me in a way no one else had to that point. I didn't finish high school (on a technicality I have a diploma) but she got me to enroll in a community college. She got me to try again.

Over the course of the relationship my current recollection is that I was pretty closed off: she tried getting me to sing and dance with her (activities she enjoyed) but I shunned it. Honestly, I was emotionally distant, using humor to deflect how I felt constantly. Our communication in a daily sort of sense was tiresome by my memory. We had different ways of communicating and interpreting each other.

She had anxiety and depression issues as well. I think she needed someone who could be emotionally there for her when she was having a panic attack or other such thing. I didn’t know how to respond. I always wanted her to try and push forward and get better. I saw the progress that I had made and wanted the same for her. I would tell her she should see someone. She would tell me that she had made progress but that I couldn’t see it. I wanted to be a better boyfriend, a better person. I could envision it constantly, the man I wanted to be.

The pandemic hit. I was stressed. She was stressed. I was going to transfer to a major university and we hadn’t worked out the logistics of that. It wasn’t very far away but still a pain for either one of us. I sat down with her father-in-law who expressed to me a concern that she wouldn’t be able to move out or get a job or be happy following her own college graduation at the end of the year. That night when we saw each other she was feeling down and I sort of cracked: I said I was concerned for her and that I couldn’t be with someone who can’t help themselves. It was a shitty night for me, all things considered.

The next few months went by on a slow decline: she stopped all physical intimacy. Our anniversary came and went. Finally, on a night when I was frustrated again in August, I texted her that it seemed our paths had diverged. I wish I could have at least done it in person, but if I didn’t do it then, I’m not sure it would have happened.

The next few weeks were hard. I missed her. About a month later I had coffee with her step-father again (we did have a good rapport). He told me she was actually doing quite well and it probably wasn’t a good fit anyway and (weirdly enough) that we should have been having more sex anyway. I came away honestly feeling liberated from that last encounter. I had a good narrative: it wasn’t going to work out anyway and I was somewhat vindicated and I was well to wash my hands of the family (her step-father always had kind of an… unconventional relationship with my GF’s mom- but that’s a whole story unto itself). At some point I sent off a text (violating no contact, I know) to my now ex-GF apologizing for the manner in which I broke up with her.

I moved to college. I felt amazing. I met so many people and the opportunities abounded. I felt in my element in a way I hadn’t before. My parents were so proud and bombastic about me. My sister told all her friends and coworkers how smart I was and how I would do so well. I got a flu shot on my own despite a really, really big fear of needles. I bought a bottle of whiskey (to cook with) despite having anxieties about buying or drinking alcohol. I was actively nice and outgoing to everyone I met despite being pretty introverted normally. My thoughts did drift to her occasionally. I knew I had to forget her, or at least leave her mentally behind. I realized some sage advice along the way that I don’t believe I’ve seen on this sub before: don’t get off to pictures of your ex. It’s not helping you recover. It’s keeping them in your memory. It didn’t help that I found her insanely attractive and pretty much exclusively got off to her over the last 5 years.

Following from above, there was a ton, an absolute fuckton, of “deprogramming” I knew I’d have to engage in: I had spent so long with her that I thought of her and her alone when topics like her favorite game series came up, or tattoos, or chihuahuas, or the entirety of the state of Florida came up. That kind of stuff. I knew it would be an ongoing process and maybe one that was never fully finished.

Then October 4th came. I woke up to a text from her. Why I hadn’t blocked her, I can’t say… guess I was just bad. She said she accepted my apology for the way in which I broke up with her and asked how I was doing. And then we started texting. Nothing serious I thought. I could tell by her responses, her tone, that she wanted to keep it civil and cool, if friendly. She had previously stated that she would be okay with us getting back together “in 5 or 10 years” if “we were friends and it happened again”. I started to realize over the following days what with our very light, cordial texting, that I was making all these self-improvement steps because I assumed that it would lead me back to her. I figured that what with the pandemic that I could go away and come back a better person and because we loved each other (and admittedly still did) that she would accept me back and I would be the man that I had secretly yearned to be through the years.

Saturday, October 17th came around. A few days ago from this posting. I was bold that night. I had been telling her over the past two weeks of the steps I had made. I was kinda virtue signaling. I told her that night that I may just be okay with getting a drink with her at some point- it was a massive step for me, one I was sure would win her over. She said that she might consider it “in the distant future as friends”. I asked if we were friends. She told me she wasn’t sure we could go to being friends so soon and that besides she was casually seeing someone.

That hit me like a truck. I was always very possessive of her, and her of me, and there had been a lot of rhetoric in our relationship about spending our lives together. I told her I would marry her. Yes, I violated that oath in words and deeds, but it wasn’t until then that I felt it.

I said I would like to talk to her- on the phone this time, as I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. So we talked. I cried. She had spent the time recovering. Truly recovering. She found someone sweet and yeah I just had to deal with that. She made it clear she wasn’t taking me back but that she did, in fact, love me and that, again, maybe we could be friends in the future, and yes, that would mean seeing and accepting knowing that we are with other people. To my credit in the conversation, I did not beg her to take me back as I did in subsequent dreams of her. I knew what she was saying was right. I knew the path that I had to take to go forward. It would be hard, but I knew it. I only had her tell me, half-heartedly, that there was no future for us going forward. I know she didn’t personally believe it but I knew that I needed to hear it. Now I realize there’s no point: I know what she thinks. I wished her the best, and told that even though I didn’t feel it, someday I would. She wished me the best, and she meant it.
I was, and am, depressed. I called my father to come to me that night and take a long walk together, as we so often did. While he was driving over to me, I cried in front of my best friend on Discord (which was, to be fair, a huge personal growth step for me). I have an amazing support structure. By the time my dad arrived, I was more leveled headed. We talked. I told him what had happened. We walked.

The next evening, I felt a burst of inspiration. I knew there would be ups and downs on the path forward, but nobody ever tells you how spontaneous, and how fleeting, they sometimes are. Like little micro oscillations of mood that one cannot predict. I reached out on a high, and texted her something I do not regret:
“I’m super sorry to break no contact but while I feel it, while I’m internalizing it, I needed to let you know that I’m super happy for you and I genuinely wish the best for your life and I hope you find happiness, true happiness. You’ve been such a profound impact on my life all for the better and I’m lucky to have known you. Goodbye [GF]”
I blocked her number but not before she could reply that she wished that same and again was here to support me and that she wasn’t “going to say goodbye, but rather [she] hope[s] to see [me] later”. I had tried to think of her as dead. I couldn’t at the time and still now abide or fathom just being her friend (though maybe I will in time learn what that means) and her keeping the window open for me hurt worse.
I’m still finding that I have intrusive ideations of our future together. I’m still planning on becoming the best person I can be because that’s what I think she deserves not because it’s what I have wanted all along.

I don’t plan on contacting her anymore, unless I do find it within myself to be okay with her dating and even marrying someone else. Right now the sheer thought of another human touching her or being romantic with her makes me have a lot of anxiety.

But I consider it a challenge: I’ve overcome stuff before. Sure, this is the most hurt I’ve been in my life to my knowledge. But I’m choosing to write my narrative like this: I was a person upon whom the onus of responsibility for the fall of my relationship rests. I did not do what I could and it can and has been mentally debated by me that the only way I could make such progress forward was upon the dissolution of my relationship. In that way I was somewhat fated to fall. Its kinda poetic now, like a Greek myth or something. The future is now in my hands and I ascribe virtually all agency to recover to myself. The flip side of such an individualistic writing is that, should I fail to recover, I will blame myself and myself alone.

And that’s what this is all about: relationships, break ups, the whole community herein- it’s all a story we tell ourselves. Best we know how to control it, make it work for us.

And if you’ve made it this far in the ramblings of an internet stranger all I have to give you are my commendations and congratulations. Thank you for taking the time to read and to judge and hopefully to learn from Breakups as I know I have. Peace.

-Matthew
submitted by Aurreum to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 15:26 Addy_StartUpGuy What does everyone think of this idea?

My friends and I have always had problems when planning date night with our partners. Whether we're in long term relationships or just casually dating, it's always been a issue.

It goes down something like this:

Jack: what do you wanna do for date night?

Jill: Idk, what do you want to do?

Jack: Ok lets go to an Italian restaurant and then bowling in the city?

Jill: Uggh.. we had Italian last week. What about Greek?

Jack: No, I had that for lunch yesterday. Ummm… ok lets have a Turkish dinner and then go mini golf?

Jill: No.... I don’t feel like Turkish

Jack: *frustrated losing his mind*

So, to fix this problem, I'm developing an app which helps couples, groups of friends and people who are just casually dating organise date night more efficiently and have fun.

It works like this:

  1. Choose your date night (04/09/2021)
  2. Invite your partner to the date night to participate in planning it.
  3. Pick what you're doing on the night (restaurant, activity, bar)
  4. Now you swipe left or right on your choices of restaurants, activities to do and bars (yes, just like Tinder). Your partner does the same from his/her phone.
  5. Once you both swipe right on a common thing from each category, a date is made.
  6. You can reserve tables, buy tickets, etc straight from the app.

Obviously there is a lot more going on in the background and the system will help you both be on the same page.
The app will be completely free. No ads, no paywalls.
Would anyone use something like this? Do you guys think its useful? What features should i add in it for it become useful?

Thank you!
submitted by Addy_StartUpGuy to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 15:20 Addy_StartUpGuy What do you guys think of this idea?

Hi all, first time poster here.

My friends and I have always had problems when planning date night with our partners. Whether we're in long term relationships or just casually dating, it's always been a issue.

It goes down something like this:

Jack: what do you wanna do for date night?

Jill: Idk, what do you want to do?

Jack: Ok lets go to an Italian restaurant and then bowling in the city?

Jill: Uggh.. we had Italian last week. What about Greek?

Jack: No, I had that for lunch yesterday. Ummm… ok lets have a Turkish dinner and then go mini golf?

Jill: No.... I don’t feel like Turkish

Jack: *frustrated losing his mind*

So, to fix this problem, I'm developing an app which helps couples, groups of friends and people who are just casually dating organise date night more efficiently and have fun.

It works like this:

  1. Choose your date night (04/09/2021)
  2. Invite your partner to the date night to participate in planning it.
  3. Pick what you're doing on the night (restaurant, activity, bar)
  4. Now you swipe left or right on your choices of restaurants, activities to do and bars (yes, just like Tinder). Your partner does the same from his/her phone.
  5. Once you both swipe right on a common thing from each category, a date is made.
  6. You can reserve tables, buy tickets, etc straight from the app.

Obviously there is a lot more going on in the background and the system will help you both be on the same page.

Would anyone use something like this? Do you guys think its useful? What features should i add in it for it become useful?

Thank you!
submitted by Addy_StartUpGuy to datenight [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 02:46 kaydaaawg [REQUEST] [SWITCH] Hades, $24.99

Hi all, I'm here today to humbly request a game I've been dying to get (pun totally intended): Hades, by Supergiant Games. (As the game is set in the Underworld and you die a lot because rogue like, just in case it wasn't clear!)
Contrary to the title of the game, you don't actually play as the God of the Underworld himself, but his son Zagreus, in his quest to escape the Underworld to reach Olympus. As someone who's massively into mythology in general, the game caught my eye when I first heard about it, and I was crossing my fingers and toes that it would come to the Switch sooner rather than later. It also helps that it's by Supergiant, who have a track record of producing great games like Bastion and Transistor.
I've been avoiding watching too many gameplay videos because I like to go into a game not knowing what to expect so that I can discover things as I go along, but the core points of Hades, condensed, are these: (1) rogue like, (2) Greek mythology, (3) hack and slash, (4) a developing storyline, (5) tons of fun, (6) everything I love in a game. The game has thus far received critical acclaim, with people praising its storyline, voice acting, and gameplay. I've also heard that the controls are smooth and that it plays like a dream on the Switch! It is, simply put, a masterpiece. It's also a roguelike, which means that it has tons of replayability.
I'm a geek over mythology, especially Norse and Greek -- the obsession started with the Percy Jackson series, then Neil Gaiman's American Gods, and it just developed from there. I got to visit Athens last summer after my studies, and I can still remember the immersive feeling I felt reading Stephen Fry's Heroes while visiting landmarks such as the Acropolis or the various Temples of the Olympians.

Why this gaming platform?
The Switch is my only gaming console that I own, and my first one in a good long while (my last one was a Game Boy Advance over a decade ago), so unfortunately I often have to pay what's dubbed as the Switch Tax. This means that I don't get to buy myself new games very often, so I play whatever games I have to death, and try out demos all the time whenever I want something fresh (the amount of dating sim demos I have on my profile are kind of embarrassing tbh).

Why spend money on me?
I know Hades had a game release sale last month where it was 20% off, but I unfortunately missed that sale because I was too busy with life. I'm looking into getting it now that I'm unemployed and therefore have a bit more time on my hands. If anything, I feel like the game will help me take my mind off the arduous process of job hunting. Nothing like a good hack and slash to help you deal with your frustrations, am I right?
I know it's well worth full price, but I'm from an Asian country that doesn't have it's own eShop and the rate of USD compared to my currency is pretty high. It therefore usually takes me quite a while before I can put aside the money to purchase a new game, which will be even longer now that I'm unemployed.
I'm not expecting too much, but if anyone gets me this I'll be immensely grateful to have this little escape from reality right now, haha. Thanks for reading this (if you've gotten this far), sorry for the essay!
(Friend Code: SW-3882-2260-5525)
submitted by kaydaaawg to GiftofGames [link] [comments]


2020.10.16 16:02 libbyation I am 23 years old, make $46,000, live in Washington, DC and work as an Admissions Officer.

There’s a lot of privilege baked into what I lay out in this Money Diary through my education and upbringing. I still feel like a novice concerning personal finance but I know I am doing (probably more than) alright. The biggest thing that money does for me is give me peace of mind, and I am very grateful for that.
Section One: Assets and Debt
I started full-time employment in November 2019, so this represents about a year of savings. The Roth IRA was funded in one go when I started getting serious about knowing where my money is and what it’s doing this summer. I have two 403(b)s because I switched brokerages from TIAA to Vanguard; I can’t combine them until I leave this position. My initial contribution was a flat 3%, then I bumped it up to 6%, and more recently, I’ve been contributing $1200 a paycheck, which I will continue through the end of the year, when I’ll readjust down to $800 or so. Our match was paused this summer before I was eligible for it, and it remains paused until Summer 2021.

I have a taxable brokerage account separate from my retirement accounts where I am saving for a down payment on a house. I seeded it with $3k of my own savings and transferred all the assets from a matured UTMA account from my great-uncle (which was being actively managed by my parents’ financial planner until I took control of it this summer). The UTMA was part of how I paid for college, and the remaining $7,000 or so has been rolled into this account. I went back and forth between a HYSA and brokerage for this pot of money, and ultimately decided to keep the money invested in a Target Date Fund (2025) because I don’t plan to purchase a house for another ten years or so (the utility of this is the Target Date Fund automatically creates a glide path of investment allocation). I am still working on selling off the funds the financial planner had me invested in as they mature to a year cost-basis to reinvest in the Target Date Fund.

I have a catch-all savings account, a temporary savings account for my 2021 Roth IRA (I know I ought to just invest it now, but this is a psychological choice for me, down to leaving a buffer for the interest it’ll earn before I invest it), and then a HYSA for my emergency fund and savings for a car (maybe? I’ve been courting the idea of my next job being at a university that is not in a city with great public transit, so this is contingent on that, I don’t really want the responsibility of a car). Because I am shoveling money into my retirement accounts right now, I’m not making contributions to my HYSA, but they will pick up again in January.

I used to keep my checking account at $1k plus my rent, and then siphon off money to my catch-all savings account whenever I got paid. But since I’ve been tracking my money a little better, I move my monthly budget of $1300 into my checking account at the beginning of the month, and then all paychecks immediately get transferred to my catch-all savings.

My health insurance plan makes me eligible for an HSA and I get up to a $750 match every year as a single contributor. Right now I deposit $31.25 each paycheck and my employer matches the entire amount. I’ve already used some of the funds I saved earlier this year.

I pay this off every month and always have. This represents the groceries I bought in this diary, groceries two weeks ago, and ordering dinner for my boyfriend and myself earlier in the month.

This is almost always at a zero balance. I use it to accept rewards from the occasional survey, pay for certain things online, and settle up utility and rent payments with my roommates. It is connected to my credit card and my checking account.

I graduated with a BA in Education Studies and Cognitive Science in May 2019. While I graduated with loans totalling about $16,000, I had the savings on hand to pay them off because I basically didn’t spend money in college and worked every semester but one, plus every summer. I waited until I had secured full-time employment before paying it off before they left deferment; the loans were federal with two different servicers.
Besides loans, I received need-based aid from my school, I applied for and won outside scholarships, withdrew funds from my UTMA account, and my parents paid some out-of-pocket as well.
~~~~~~~~~~
Was there an expectation that you would pursue higher education? Yes, I am a third-generation college graduate (both my parents, and all of my grandparents, attended college, and some of them have professional and graduate degrees). I always assumed I would go to a state school to save on college costs, but my parents gave me the go-ahead to look beyond that because they understood I would earn scholarships and our family would be eligible for aid. I ended up at an Ivy League school, which I never thought was in my future before my senior year of high school.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parents educate you about finances? We had sporadic conversations that were decidedly educational - I remember my parents getting my siblings and me lockboxes and ledger books instead of piggy banks, taking us to the credit union to open accounts, and hearing kernels of advice. Mostly, I learned by following their habits - how to shop for groceries, how to shop for clothes, how to choose a place to rent, etc. Up until recently, my parents’ financial advisor was also my advisor, and I checked in with him when I had something big going on, like paying for college and choosing benefits at my first professional job.
What was your first job and why did you get it? My first W-2 job was as an RA in college. We were paid with a stipend, but room and board were not covered. I got it because my mom had been an RA in college, and I thought I would be a natural at it being the eldest child of six. Prior to that, I babysat, participated in research studies, and flipped furniture and textbooks, but in high school my parents didn’t want me to have a job so I could focus on school.
Did you worry about money growing up? I understood that money needed to be conserved from my parents’ habits, but I didn’t worry about my personal money or our family’s financial situation. I have been a saver since I was a kid, so it never really occurred to me to spend my birthday money, for instance. In retrospect, I can point to particular times of financial anxiety from my parents (when selling a house, during the Great Recession, when I had to eat school lunch since it was free), but I wasn’t paying so close attention at the time.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? I was 22 when I finally moved out of my parents’ house for my first full-time position, after graduating from college, working a seasonal job for the summer, and then moving back home. That was the age when I first started paying rent and bills. As far as a safety net, I have an emergency fund and my investments; I also have my nuclear family, a large extended family who I could crash with, some friends in various cities, and untapped education benefits from the government.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? All the passive income from my investments is getting reinvested - it doesn’t amount to much right now. I inherited the money in my old UTMA account mentioned before. My parents each have a will, but I’ve not been told any specifics. All my grandparents are still alive and I don’t know the status of their estates. Because I have many siblings and cousins, and I am “on my feet” compared to them by virtue of being older, I have low expectations of any future inheritance, and I anticipate some of it will be messier than it is worth.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 1 year next month. My starting salary was $46,000 and we did not get a COL raise this year due to the pandemic. Although the job was listed with a salary and I have full benefits, I am actually paid hourly, so if I work after-hours, I get paid overtime.
In college, I worked six semesters as an RA (paid on a stipend), one semester as a college prep tutor manager for a non-profit (also a stipend), one summer as a summer camp counselor (paid hourly, but they rationed who could take overtime), and 3 summers as an RA for a pre-college program (paid hourly with generous overtime, also got room and board). Since these were all paid jobs, I consider them relevant work experience for my career in higher education.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $648
As you can see in the table below, I am currently contributing a high pre-tax amount toward retirement. When I assessed my financial situation earlier this year, I decided I was too cash-heavy and wanted to be more invested, so I increased my contribution and it automatically invests with my paycheck. This is temporary, since I supplement my income with my savings to support my expenses right now, and will end after December. I took these numbers from my paystub and multiplied, so they may not quite add up.
Amount
Gross pay $3,537.60
HSA contribution -$62.50
Health insurance -$27.20
Voluntary contribution -$2,400
Taxes -$386.80
Long term disability -$12.46
Net pay $648.62

Side Gig Monthly Take Home: $0
I’ve been looking into reading applications as a part-time job at another school, but haven’t bit the bullet on that one yet. I got $10 from filling out a survey last month, but that’s it for money outside of my job.
Other Monthly Income: $0
Most of the financial out-patient care I received from my parents has pretty much ended. They used to pitch in for the gap between my scholarships and tuition in college, and they would pay for my air travel to and from college, but now I pay for my own travel. The only thing that remains is that I am on their phone plan and use their Netflix and Disney+. We recently had a conversation about this, and I’ll be paying them $20 a month for all this going forward (I know that my line only costs $10, so I’m not getting a parental discount).
Section Three: Expenses
Rent: $875/month - I have the smallest room in my apartment, which is a 3 bed, 1 bath I share with two other women. When I went into the office, I was able to walk to work.
Renters insurance: $140.60/year - Through USAA. I paid through December 2021 and will end this policy then, since I’ll be covered under my parents’ policy when I move home (we checked, I was prepared to continue this coverage).
Car insurance: $19.57/month - Through USAA. This is a non-owners policy, since I don’t have a car but wanted to maintain coverage.
Electric: varies from $25 to $50 a month - I pay one of my roommates for my portion.
Wifi: $28/month - I pay one of my roommates for my portion.
Cellphone plus Subscriptions (Netflix and Disney+): $20/month - Paid to my parents.
Groceries: $100-$150/month - I prefer to shop at Aldi, but with the pandemic, I sometimes do my weekly shop at the Giant that is much closer. This includes hygiene and cleaning products.
Eating out: $60-$80/month - I don’t much like eating out at restaurants. Right now this is basically a take-out budget; if I wasn’t dating, this would be more like $30/month, but I like the opportunity to try new food/have something to look forward to/be lazy with my boyfriend.
Clothing, misc.: I might thrift clothes or buy undergarments or shoes new once a month, if that. I don’t keep a hard budget for this type of category, but I have a mental ceiling of $1300 for all outgoing cash flow each month. I haven’t gone over (except for paying off my loans from savings) since moving out on my own. Although the accounting is a little wonky right now, this method allowed for an average savings rate just under 50% of my take-home pay before I messed around with my retirement contributions. It will be neat to figure out my overall savings rate at the end of the year, and I project it to be 60%.
~~~~~~~~~~
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for ten months and we’re pretty easy-going about money between us. We’re both pretty frugal and don’t normally split bills; he’ll pay for one thing, I’ll pay for the next. If there’s something one of us wants to do and bring the other along, the originator of the idea will cover the cost. Early on I asked if he wanted me to keep a spreadsheet or use an app to split costs, but our method hasn’t caused any problems.
I did live with him (he lives alone) for about five months from the beginning of the pandemic - during that time I still had to pay rent and utilities at my apartment, so my financial contribution at his place was getting groceries for us both every other week (where he would go on the alternating weeks). Since moving out, I see him for dinner on Wednesdays and then the weekends; I’ll cook or order in on Wednesdays, and always try to contribute to the weekend by baking or bringing takeout with me.

Day 1, Thursday, October 8, 2020

7:29am: I’m up a minute before my alarm like the cosmos has something to tell me. My arms are sore from carrying bags of clothing from a women’s clothing round-robin I picked up two days ago. Back to sleep.
8:19am: And we’re awake again. My ‘alarm’ is two hours of NPR so I hear snippets of the VP debate last night. I raise the blinds to my window (I’ve been trying to look outside before I look at a screen lately). Grab my phone and browse reddit, text my boyfriend good morning.
9:06am: Whoops, better make breakfast before starting work. Two slices of sprouted bread in the toaster oven, topped with peanut butter and strawberry jam, alongside two mandarin oranges and my multivitamin. That was the last of my bread, so I update my pantry spreadsheet.
9:15am: Open my work email, nothing pressing for now. No meetings on my schedule either. I open up our application portal and start reading applications - it takes me about half an hour to check today’s batch for completeness.
10:03am: Break to read some news and check my local Buy-Nothing group (where the round-robin originated). See an article about mail-in ballot tracking which reminds me to check on mine, which I mailed on Sunday. It arrived yesterday, and I text my family group chat to celebrate. I can hear my roommates are both awake watching some sort of Halloween baking show.
10:46am: Return to working. Reading more applications, then email. First I address anything brand new, then I systematically attack my 75 email backlog by searching for certain keywords and senders that are more urgent.
11:07am: Take my dishes to the kitchen and refill my water glass.
11:32am: I switch gears with emails. My admissions pet peeve: when applicants misspell my name.
12:02pm: We’re at 63 emails now. I get dressed and make my bed.
12:22pm: Lunch is ravioli with marinara sauce and white beans, carrot sticks, and a slice of fresh mozzarella cut into slices. Work has an optional lunch on Zoom on Thursdays - I log in and no one is there so I end up calling one of my sisters instead.
1:00pm: Still talking with my sister but my on-call shift for work has begun (prospective students can call our office with questions), so I log in in the background.
1:53pm: Wow, we really had a lot to catch up on. School for her, work for me. Back to work.
3:00pm: And my phone shift is over - no calls today. It seems that people have generally forgotten about calling during the several months we didn’t have an active phone line when we started teleworking. I’ve been redditting and doing work brainstorming through this all.
3:27pm: Back to applications. Typically I only do them once a day, but I like the structured checking-off, so I tackle the few that are in my box. What can I say, I love giving the stamp of a complete application so it can go on to further review (I don’t provide an opinion for the admissions decision) - maybe we’ll admit them... it all starts here!
4:43pm: Stumbled upon an application from someone I know - always a nice surprise.
5:24pm: Glance at the clock since my working has transitioned to not really working. Down to 56 emails. I go down a rabbit-hole researching one of today’s recommenders - sometimes they are really interesting people!
5:48pm: Heat up dinner - roasted turkey breast and brussels sprouts I have in the fridge. I compare dinners with my boyfriend over text and settle into some dinner YouTube and two more mandarin oranges.
7:09pm: I’m cooing over the panda update at the National Zoo and decide to bake some biscuits. Went a little overboard on my normal Greek yogurt plus Bisquick recipe, adding some vanilla oat milk and pumpkin pie spice for a dessert feel. They are fragrant and tender.
7:32pm: I clean up the kitchen and start the dishwasher.
9:38pm: I run a small bath and use my double-edge safety razor for the first time on my legs. Only three nicks, none of them major, so I feel pretty accomplished.
10:28pm: Chit-chat with my roommates after unloading the dishwasher.
12:15pm: Get ready for bed. I don’t fall asleep until later but my sleep habits are a topic for another time.

Day 2, Friday, October 9, 2020

8:09am: Wake up, open the blinds, and check the weather. Pulled my bed together, turned off the radio, and stuck my finger in my pilea plant. In the kitchen, I pop the last of a berry cobbler in the microwave for breakfast and fill a dish with water to place the pilea in.
8:27am: I open up my work email to see what’s new. Inbox at 64. Most of the emails are applicants wanting to know the status of their application and prospective students wanting to schedule appointments, which I decline.
9:02: I pull the pilea out of the water. Emails are down to 57. Take my breakfast dish and the excess water to the kitchen.
9:05am: Time to file applications. I turn on Spotify for some background noise.
9:42am: Done, so I check in on reddit, then get dressed and get back to work.
11:04am: Pause working to start some pizza dough for calzones to take hiking this weekend. I get distracted by a text from one of my roommates that she doesn’t feel well. She explains the precautions she’s taking. At least kneading is therapeutic.
Noonish: Catching up on personal email as the dough rises.
1:30ish: Calzones are now doing their second rise assembled. Lunch is spaetzle with roasted turkey, white beans, mozzarella, and marinara sauce.
2pm: I message the next person in my clothing round robin since I’ve made my choices of what to keep and what to give away. She can pick up tonight so I tidy the bags. Calzones go in the oven.
2:30pm: Calzones out of the oven to cool.
3:03pm: Remember it’s payday; move my whole paycheck into savings ($373.68, a little higher than normal because I worked overtime last week).
4pm: I have some raisins as a snack, filling a dish with water for my succulent to soak in. I start typing up my Money Diary and enter my hours for work.
4:40pm: I move the clothes down to the curb and keep watch over them, since I’ve had items I’ve set out for people taken before. It’s an easy misunderstanding, so I don’t get mad about it, but it’s disappointing for the person who the items are intended for, so now I watch. She arrives and I help her load her car. Thank goodness that is done; it really was a ton of clothes.
5:02pm: The calzones have cooled so I pack them into the bread bag from the loaf I finished yesterday. I sit back down to close my tabs from the day on my computer. Email is at 58. Time to pack for the weekend!
5:29pm: I write up a cutesy to-do list for the weekend of activities for the weekend. It includes catching up on shows we watch together and things to do on our hike.
6:05pm: I leave my apartment and hop on the metro (my card is still loaded from February, this is only my second time on the metro since then). My boyfriend has me meet him by a Chinese restaurant, where he picks up our order. He pays; the bill is $21.18.
7pm: We walk back to his place. Wash our hands, eat dinner on the couch. We catch up on our days and he puts a CD in the stereo.
9:30pm: We snuggle up with a blanket to watch this week’s Great British Bake Off. In the middle we snack on some challah and lox.
10:30pm: By the end of the episode, I’m practically nodding off, so we head to bed.

Day 3, Saturday, October 10, 2020

7:18am: I wake up and quietly slip out of bed. Get a drink of water and plug in my phone since I neglected that last night. Crawl back into bed since it is too early for a weekend.
8:50am: We’re both awake now, so we muster ourselves out of bed. He makes coffee for himself and then brings it and some more challah and lox to the couch for breakfast.
10:40am or so: We’re dressed, bags packed, water bottles filled, and out the door.
11:30am or so: Car is parked. The drive only took about 35 minutes but the first parking area was full, so it was slow-going to find the other parking area. We hike in bursts on the trail, stopping to spy on birds with binoculars, split a calzone, munch on carrot sticks, or climb down to the river bank to sit and enjoy the outdoors. The ‘destination’ of this hike is a waterfall area, but it is more crowded than the trail so we don’t linger for very long.
4:30pm: Back at the car to drive home.
5:20pm: Home! We change clothes and settle in on the couch.
5:40pm: One of my favorite series in sheltering at home, Secrets of the Zoo, has delivered a new spinoff at the Taronga Zoo in Australia. We’ve watched all the original seasons already, so we dig into this new one together.
6:15pm: My boyfriend makes dinner - pasta with pesto and ricotta cheese.
7:15pm: Switching gears to set up the projector so we can watch Botched on the big screen. We’re finishing up the most recent season. Ice cream ensues.
11:20pm: Finishing an episode just in time to catch SNL. Sometimes we don’t stay up late enough, but tonight we triumph!
1:15am: SNL is over, we’ve brushed our teeth, and we crawl into bed.

Day 4, Sunday, October 11, 2020

9:50am: We’ve both been awake on-and-off, and so concur that it is time to start the day.
10:15am: I turn on more of Secrets of the Zoo on the projector. My boyfriend brings over challah and lox to munch on, and I check off items from our weekend list.
11:40am: Two episodes later, and it’s about time for me to pack up and leave. I get dressed and gather my belongings, and we say goodbye until Wednesday.
12:28pm: I arrive home from my walk, wash up, rotate my pilea plant, and catch up writing Money Diary entries, news from the weekend, and some miscellaneous reddit.
2pm: Pour out some applesauce and sit down to write out my meal plan and grocery list and eyeball the cost of my list. Planning to spend about $30 for my groceries for the week.
2:50pm: Copy my list on paper from my pantry spreadsheet. Check the weather and suit up for rain, pack my backpack, and we’re off to the grocery store!
4:04pm: I arrive at Aldi. It drizzled the whole walk here, but I like the chance to stretch my legs. Bonus from the rain: Very few people are out walking.
4:35pm: Done shopping; I could spend forever at Aldi. I get in line to check out. As I’m waiting, I do mental math and guess I spent $28 for a dozen eggs, a bulk container of whole milk plain greek yogurt, baby bella mushrooms, a dark chocolate bar, a loaf of sprouted bread, a large can of crushed tomatoes, a bag of gala apples, two acorn squash, about 2.5 lbs of red grapes, a package of salted butter, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, and two packages of fresh pumpkin ravioli. The final bill is $27.77, so I was a great estimator today!
4:48pm: I depart Aldi and walk back home. The last ten minutes of my walk, the rain starts to pick up.
5:45pm: Made it home, a little damp. I wash up and put away the food. I pull out two pumpkin cookies and smear some peanut butter on them for a snack.
5:55pm: I sit down to read over some supplemental essays for college applications for one of my sisters. Normally I leave comments or edit as I go, but I think she’s hit the right voice today so I just text her that I don’t have any edits.
7pm: Head to the kitchen to roast the acorn squash for this week’s lunches and make dinner for tonight - eggs on top of toast, with olives and pickled onions, alongside some grapes, and a small turkey and mozzarella quesadilla.
8pm: I put my dinner dishes away and pull the squash out of the oven. I settle in to internet browsing and a few squares of dark chocolate for the evening, realizing and then coming to peace with the fact that I am now a Money Diaries cliche.
10:55pm: Showering, getting into pajamas, and tidying up my room. The cooled acorn squash goes into the fridge.
Midnight or so: in bed after some YouTube and writing the intro to this Money Diary.
Total Spend: $27.77

Day 5, Monday, October 12, 2020

7:35am: I wake up to the radio and open the window. It is grey outside and looks like it’ll be cloudy and rainy all day. I get out of bed, straighten the duvet and pillows, and head to the bathroom. Back in my room, I read the news, check reddit, and text my boyfriend good morning.
8:25am: Check my work email. We’re back up to 62. I knock out the easy ones that came in over the weekend (down to 59) and then go make breakfast (two fried eggs with baby bella mushrooms on toast topped with pickled onions and everything bagel seasoning, red grapes, my multivitamin and water).
8:55am: Sit down on the couch in the living room to start the work day by reading applications. Mondays typically have a larger stack to work through because people work on and submit applications more frequently on the weekends. I turn on Spotify tuned to my Daily Drive with news and music very quietly, since I haven’t seen either of my roommates yet this morning.
10am: I head back to my desk in my room so I can log in for a phone shift. Still reading applications.
12:05pm: Realize my phone shift is over, so I log out of that system. I answered one call early on and it was radio silence from there. I am still reading applications, but the end is in sight.
12:30pm: Done reading applications. Time to prepare lunch. I reheat half an acorn squash on the broil function of the toaster oven, and microwave some white beans and tomato sauce I had in the fridge, and top it all with feta cheese. To be honest, I had wanted to get spaghetti squash at the grocery yesterday, but this is so good with acorn squash as the centerpiece.
1:28pm: I sit down with some chocolate and see what is up next for the work day. Blessedly, there are no new emails, so I reference a to-do list I have on a scrap of paper from last week. I decide to rewrite the list with steps broken down before attacking it.
3pm: I break for a pumpkin cookie with peanut butter and to refill my water.
5:15pm: I log out of work and fiddle around with pizza dough recipes before heading to the kitchen to straighten up and make the dough.
5:45pm: Leave the dough to rise in the kitchen. One of my roommates is heating up a frozen lasagna in the oven, so my dough should be happy. I caramelize some onions and throw some sliced mushrooms in with them to top the pizza with when the dough is ready.
7:15pm: I can’t wait any longer, so I deflate the dough and split it into two. I shape and top one pizza and place the other half in the fridge for tomorrow’s dinner. Pizza in the oven.
7:40pm: Dinner, followed by dinner YouTube (mostly vintage SNL), followed by a pumpkin cookie and a wandering path to bed, eventually.

Day 6, Tuesday, October 13, 2020

8am: I’m awake, peek outside, and then snuggle back into bed with my phone.
8:30am: Out of bed to make breakfast - two slices of sprouted toast, two scrambled eggs with some of the caramelized onions and mushrooms from last night and mozzarella stirred in, applesauce, and my multivitamin.
8:50am: I sit down at my desk to start the workday. Email is at 61, but I anticipate I’ll get a bunch forwarded to me within the hour. I start reading applications.
9:45am: Quick break to put away dishes and then back to applications.
10:30am: End is in sight with my applications, but I have to pause for our weekly staff meeting. These used to take a whole hour, but now we can get them down to a neat 20-30 minutes. People share anything relevant to the whole office, and oftentimes share something personal like what they did over the weekend, how their pet/child/plant is doing, or show a show-and-tell item.
1pm: I got a bit distracted after the end of the meeting, but I sit down to lunch (same as yesterday, acorn squash with marinara sauce, white beans, and feta, and an apple) and try to get some things done.
4pm: With all of our recruiting being done virtually, I get to attend and answer questions during info sessions and webinars that my office hosts. Today I’ve been tapped to support one of our Directors, answering questions in that Zoom chat while she coordinates the live interaction. I’m still on camera and end up answering questions with her too, and am exhausted after the whole ordeal.
5:25pm: I call it quits with work. We’re up over 70 emails again.
6:45pm: One of my roommates texts that she’s thinking she might travel for a funeral this weekend. I honestly don’t have the tools in my toolbox to handle this right now, and so I don’t. Dinner is pizza like yesterday, with the dough I left in the fridge. It’s a better-developed crust and I’m very pleased with it. I munched on an apple while it was baking.
10:15pm: I bake some brownies and pour sprinkles on top. They’re done in about 45 minutes and I slice them to cool, then enjoy two.
2am or so: I get anxious about work, so I answer some emails and set them to send in the morning. Down to 63. Then off to bed.

Day 7, Wednesday, October 14, 2020

I neglected to log this day as it happened since it ended up being a mental health day for me. I was up and about in the morning, finished applications, and then felt ill enough to call out of work. Luckily I was able to coordinate with my supervisor, so I was able to break, nap, and take care of myself. I also picked up a new office chair from my Buy Nothing group in the evening, and had my boyfriend over for dinner on the balcony. Breakfast was oatmeal that I made in the instant pot with peanut butter, raisins, and honey. Lunch was eggs with caramelized onions and mushrooms and mozzarella cheese on sprouted toast with grapes. And dinner was pumpkin ravioli in a butter garlic sauce with kale, and focaccia that I made.
Total Expenses:
Food + Drink: $27.77
Fun / Entertainment: $0
Home + Health: $0
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Transport: $0
Other: $0
Lastly, reflect on your diary!
This was a pretty normal week for me. I always get groceries once a week, and we’re solidly in the middle of the month, so I didn’t have rent or utilities to pay. As reflected in my expenses section, I don’t have too many wants and try to limit my financial obligations. This diary does showcase my participation in my Buy Nothing group, and I have gifted items in the past and will do so again before I move.
In the future, I know I will need to build out a more robust budget to allow for things I like to do that are generally on pause now, like seeing plays and musicals, going to aquariums and zoos, and traveling to see friends and family. The habits I have now will enable me to enjoy those activities in the future without worrying about the cost. I’m currently working on projecting my larger future expenses, like new contacts and glasses, some professional certifications, moving, and even grander some-days like going to graduate school, self-funding maternity leave, and financially incentivising retirement saving for my siblings.
submitted by libbyation to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 02:36 dja9963 M4F Fraternity & Sorority Relations - Romance Role!

First off, all characters that I want to roleplay are going to be 18+. I have to make that super clear before I continue.
So I am looking for a female partner to dive into the world of college sororities and fraternities. So you should have a little bit of background on those topics to roleplay with me but if you don’t just ask! We can do a little crash course.
I want this to be set at a massive American university where the Greek System of Sororities and Fraternities dominates campus. The drama between groups, the process to get into the groups the days-in-days-out functions of the organizations.
We have so many options from the top sorority full of the prettiest girls on campus to the sorority know for the girls that always are down for fun, to the fraternity full of athletes, the one full of nerds, the frat known for drug-use.
One role I had in mind… you play a freshman girl coming onto campus. She’s a legacy in the top sorority meaning that her mom was in that sorority when she went to college. I play the president of the top fraternity on campus. First off, pledges aren’t supposed to date anyone in a greek group.. Second off, my character might he dating the president of your sorority! Imagine the drama as our characters get to know each other!
That’s just one idea. We can discuss more options. This is clearly going to be long-term. I can chat on here or on Discord. Let me know!
I have years and years of playing experience. I look for longer posts to get us started and then typically do paragraph responses as we get into the play.
The way I see it, details are what matter most here. Since we can't physically see or touch one another, I need to be able to feel you through your writing - and you'll certainly feel the same from me.
I hope you message me back letting me know you are interested. We need to talk about a few things in this role before we get going. I love using photographs for faceclaims, outfits, settings, etc.
Hope to hear from you soon! Xx Daniel
submitted by dja9963 to roleplaying [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 02:36 dja9963 M4F Fraternity & Sorority Relations - Romance Role!

First off, all characters that I want to roleplay are going to be 18+. I have to make that super clear before I continue.
So I am looking for a female partner to dive into the world of college sororities and fraternities. So you should have a little bit of background on those topics to roleplay with me but if you don’t just ask! We can do a little crash course.
I want this to be set at a massive American university where the Greek System of Sororities and Fraternities dominates campus. The drama between groups, the process to get into the groups the days-in-days-out functions of the organizations.
We have so many options from the top sorority full of the prettiest girls on campus to the sorority know for the girls that always are down for fun, to the fraternity full of athletes, the one full of nerds, the frat known for drug-use.
One role I had in mind… you play a freshman girl coming onto campus. She’s a legacy in the top sorority meaning that her mom was in that sorority when she went to college. I play the president of the top fraternity on campus. First off, pledges aren’t supposed to date anyone in a greek group.. Second off, my character might he dating the president of your sorority! Imagine the drama as our characters get to know each other!
That’s just one idea. We can discuss more options. This is clearly going to be long-term. I can chat on here or on Discord. Let me know!
I have years and years of playing experience. I look for longer posts to get us started and then typically do paragraph responses as we get into the play.
The way I see it, details are what matter most here. Since we can't physically see or touch one another, I need to be able to feel you through your writing - and you'll certainly feel the same from me.
I hope you message me back letting me know you are interested. We need to talk about a few things in this role before we get going. I love using photographs for faceclaims, outfits, settings, etc.
Hope to hear from you soon! Xx Daniel
submitted by dja9963 to RoleplayPartnerSearch [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 02:31 Xadruania The Night That Is Yet to End

Before I met Alfons, I had 3 unfulfilled interests. The first was Otto, who sat three desks in front of me for about 7 years of my life. He has a natural charm of Greek beauty, being absolutely irresistible. The second was Aaron, who is also in the Greek beauty category. In my exchange program to France, it was Leon (the only one who was also gay, as far as I know). I am very, brutally, shy; so I just told him - with a letter and a bag of various gifts that I bought - the day he left, we never saw each other again. When I returned from my trip, I was filled with the spirit of freedom that I had in France. I don't remember exactly why I decided to do this, but I did tell my parents about my interest. My mother made a fuss and went to my grandmother's house. My father came home later, he did not react to the revelation. We took the car to pick up my mom. It was then that, before the traffic lights of Earl Row, he said to me [+/-] "my son, I don't know how this works and I'd prefer you to be interested in women, but I love you regardless".
When we arrived to my grandmother's house, the three of us had the most intense drama class of our lives. However, when we returned, my mother continued to make a fuss until 3 am. "Fagots die of HIV at the age of 30!"; "Fags have no professional future!"; "Fags go to hell!"; "Do you think that getting ****** is decent?" [I almost replied, with intense sarcasm, that I did]; "Do you want to deprive me of having grandchildren!?" and the nonsense continued for about 5 hours. My father did only one thing: suggest that I try to go to a whorehouse to confirm things, which I refused and keep refusing every time he offers - which he does. In the following week the atmosphere became tense, but the subject disappeared.
The following year, at an academic event, under the recommendation of Wolfram and Mark, I met Alfons. He and I got together tacitly. During the 4 days of the event, we visited the corridors to talk and ignored the elevator to have time to take the stairs. Shortly thereafter we made an appointment to have tea at Mixing Prince House. My mom went to see his Facebook and made another scandal, since she assumes that all bow tie users are gay. Nevertheless, I was able to go after insisting a lot and adding Sybil to the itinerary (which was a lie). We had a nice afternoon with tea and pies, and when we left, he convinced me to walk over to my place. I nodded and we walked, watching the night movement and the beautiful dark sky above.
Days later, when I was in the car going to a clinic for my mother to be examined, I received a message from Alfons; it was a proposal. I didn't want to show a reaction there, so I read later. A few hours later, I replied and then got confirmation, we were officially dating. That night, we did not sleep, having spent the whole night chatting. It was a night as magical as another, more sensual. He started having lunch with me every day, always in a different place - since I had classes in the afternoon too. I started going to parties that I had never been interested in before with him (and making excuses for my parents became a joint occupational hazard), and I met more interesting people beside him than in my previous limited world. That said, at one of those parties, in Mark's room, he told me he was going to study in England. I was intoxicated with our relationship and, even with the imminent distance, I did not end the relationship.
There were two farewell parties, one at his grandfather's house, with pizza, speeches, dances, debates and, later, a visit to the guest room. The other was Wolfram's idea, starting at a bar-pizzeria, ending the night at the idealiser's house. We also stopped by Wolfram's room and, at 4 am, we joined the rest of the commune. Most of them sober, and a hypothermic drunk. We took care of Erwin (the hypothermic) until he got better and, fortunately for me, I got to know these other magical people that Alfons introduced me to and for whom I have the greatest fraternity. The next morning, I swore to my parents that I was doing a group project of the utmost importance all night.
For 6 months Alfons and I spent at least 1 hour a day on the phone, sometimes well, some not. When he returned, we revisited the House of our first meeting. We went to the mall to do some shopping too. And, on the third date of his return, I broke up with him before tea at Erwin's. Before he returned to England, I also saw him in a restaurant, with our families - we pretended not to know each other, more because of the other people present.
Today, although I no longer have a boyfriend and my main romantic interest is a Catholic radical (which is absolutely frustrating), every time my mom remembers the topic, she makes yet another equal fuss. My father, more subtle, constantly tries to convince me that women are sexually interesting and that being gay has many disadvantages, as if it were a choice in which one should maximise utility. And this situation continues, as if the reaction has not yet ended. That damned night almost 3 years ago is not yet over.

The names, places and other such things have been altered to not match reality. But by all means, this is a real story with changed names.
submitted by Xadruania to comingout [link] [comments]